


Try The Swing

by imaginentertain



Series: Vegas Verse [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: AU Meeting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-05
Updated: 2012-04-11
Packaged: 2017-12-31 06:48:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 39,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1028567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginentertain/pseuds/imaginentertain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt and Blaine have survived a lot. A Vegas wedding to a stranger, a cross-country journey of discovery, and coast-to-coast separation. They came through all that to a second marriage, one that has been happy and successful for two years. The next logical step is parenthood. Only kids are rarely logical.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel to "Vows"

_"Life throws us curve balls and puts us in situations we don't expect. The real measure of a relationship is how you deal with those curve balls. You can stand there and do nothing or you can try the swing. You might strike out but at least you tried. You don't run, you don't hide. You stand up and you deal with it."_  
Blaine's speech at his parents' wedding anniversary in "Vows".

~~~

It wasn't unusual for Kurt to be home first. Sometimes, during the slower weeks at _Closet_ , Blaine would get a text from his husband demanding that he be home at a certain time because otherwise dinner would be ruined.

Blaine loved those times.

But today? Today was different.

There had been no text and there was no warning that Kurt would be home first, but when Blaine opened the door and saw Kurt sitting at the table, his eyes coming up to meet his gaze, he knew why.

"It's here?" Blaine asked.

Kurt just nodded, his gaze dropping to the envelope that was set in front of him.

"And?"

"Dunno," Kurt said. "It arrived at the office today, actually noticed it at lunchtime."

By now Blaine had dropped his messenger bag and had joined Kurt, slipping into the chair next to him.

"Wanted to wait for you."

"I wouldn't have minded if you'd opened it," Blaine said. "I'd have wanted to know."

"What if it's a no?" Kurt asked quietly.

"Why would it be? Lauren said we were ideal parent material."

" _Gay_ parent material. People still don't like that."

"They can't reject us because we're gay."

"Oh they won't say that. It'll be something else officially but..."

"Just open the letter, Kurt," Blaine said.

Kurt reached out with a shaking hand and decisively pushed it to the side so it was in front of Blaine.

"Fine," Blaine laughed, picking it up.

"It's a no, I know it," Kurt said as he heard Blaine rip open the envelope. "It's a small envelope. They only send rejections in small envelopes."

"What? Did you think they were going to mail us a kid?" Blaine laughed as he pulled out the piece of paper and unfolded it. "Dear Mr and Mr Anderson..."

"We are sorry to inform you..." Kurt sighed.

"...that your lives will no longer be your own as your home will become the playground for some kid," Blaine joked.

Kurt nearly gave himself whiplash as he turned to look at Blaine.

"Well it doesn't actually say _that_ , but it does say yes."

"This is a really bad time for you to be evil," Kurt said. "You teasing me on the street, you pretending you didn't want to marry me... I can deal with all that but I swear to Fate that if you are fucking with me about this..."

"I'm not _that_ evil," Blaine smiled. "It's a yes. Yes, Kurt. We can adopt. We're going to be parents."

Kurt pushed out of his chair and into Blaine's arms, the pair of them laughing when that chair toppled over and they ended up on the floor.

 

*

 

They'd talked almost all night about what they needed to do in order to childproof (or maybe babyproof?) their apartment. They talked about schools and doctors and dentists and they'd need to maybe look into a different health insurance policy because there tended to be better deals out there for families, right? They'd also have to sort out schedules because now they both couldn't work late and at least Blaine would be off during school vacations so that wouldn't be too bad and what if they needed a sitter?

"I'm changing my mind," Blaine laughed softly as Kurt shifted against him. "Having kids is too much work."

Kurt was lying on his back, head resting half on Blaine's chest while he held on to the arm wrapped around him. "Be more hassle if we adopted... young."

"We are young," Blaine pointed out. "Neither one of us is thirty yet. That's next year."

"I meant the kid, idiot," Kurt laughed, gently smacking the back of Blaine's hand which was currently resting on his chest. "Everyone wants babies, right? Lauren told us that the chances of getting someone under the age of two were... So what if we went older?"

"How much older?" Blaine asked.

"Six? Seven? Maybe older? I don't know really. But those are the kids that really need a home."

"Every kid needs a home."

"You know what I mean."

"You know those kids are usually the ones with issues, right? You sure you want to... open our home up to that? What if we end up with a kid who needs more from us than we can give?"

Kurt sighed, his fingers now running up and down Blaine's arm, tickling the hairs. "I don't... I mean..."

"You've got _Annie_ in your head, haven't you?" Blaine laughed.

"Maybe. But there are kids out there who need parents, who are just a bit too old or a bit too broken. Not unlike us."

"For the second time, we are not old."

"But we were broken. Before Vegas, after it... For a long time we were broken and now we're not..."

"Well. No more than any other couple."

"Blaine," Kurt sighed.

"I know, love. I know what you mean."

"So what do you think? About us... adopting older?"

"I think that somewhere out there is a kid who we can give a home to. Someone who we are going to love, completely, and we are going to be a family."

Kurt remained where he was, resting against his husband's body and staring up at the lights from the stained glass wall dancing on the ceiling. "I think so too," he said eventually.

 

*

 

He'd had one of those days when he just didn't stop. Despite it being the last week before the summer vacation he certainly wasn't in "wind down" mode so when he met Kurt at the home the first thing he did (after kissing his husband's cheek) was ask where the restroom was. Lauren had smiled, pointed down the hall, and told Blaine that they would meet him in the "play room".

"Don't go falling for the first kid you see," Blaine teased Kurt before dashing off to relieve his bladder.

Mission accomplished he walked back up the hallway until he was stopped in his tracks.

"You keep your fucking hands off me," a voice yelled from a nearby room. "I ain't going nowhere with you."

"Benjamin..." came another voice, a woman's. She was clearly unimpressed and frustrated.

" _Don't_ call me that," Benjamin snapped.

Blaine stopped at the doorway, carefully peering through the inset window to see what was happening. He recoiled when he saw that there were three adults in the room with Benjamin, surrounding and almost cornering him.

"You're being childish, Ben," the woman said.

"I'm thirteen. In case you'd forgotten I _am_ a child," Ben spat back.

"You know the rules..."

"Yeah, stay out if sight in case I freak out the prospects. I get it. But I 'ain't sitting in my room by myself."

"Ben..."

"This isn't a fucking spectator sport," Ben suddenly yelled out and Blaine realised he'd been spotted.

Betraying nothing, Blaine opened the door and stepped into the room. "The lack of an entry fee gave that away," he replied. "Just wondered what the noise was."

"The fascists here are trying to hide me away. Don't want to scare people off."

"You think you're scary?" Blaine mocked. "Please, kid."

"I'm not worth adopting," Ben spat. "So they keep me away from the pretty kids and the nice moms and dads who want a perfect family. I'd just fuck all that up. I ain't worth it."

"Ben, language," the woman chided, shooting an apologetic glance at Blaine.

"She's right," Blaine said. "It's 'I'm not worth it', not 'I ain't'."

"What?" Ben said. "You the grammar police or somethin'?"

"Or something," he corrected. "And no, I just teach English. My seventh graders have a better grasp of grammar than you."

"Whoopie for them."

"No, good grades for them."

"Fuck you," Ben spat. "Get back to your perfect wife and pick yourself out a kiddie."

"Husband," Blaine corrected.

"What?"

"I don't have a wife, I have a husband."

Ben gave a low whistle and opened his mouth as if to comment before closing it again.

"Problem?" Blaine asked.

"No business of mine," Ben shrugged. "Not like it makes a difference to me at any rate."

"Clearly not."

"What?"

"You said it yourself," Blaine said calmly. "You're not worth it. But when you've calmed down and you've stopped behaving like a little kid we can talk properly." He found a scrap of paper and pen and scribbled his cell number on it.

"What would I want this for... Blaine?" Ben gave a snort of derision. "What kind of name is that? Lame Blaine."

"Oh, that's a good one," Blaine said, his voice monotone. "The kids at school never thought of that. But then what would I expect from someone whose basic grammar is lacking?"

"I'm not stupid!"

"Never said you were."

"You said I wasn't worth it."

"I just repeated what you said. What I did say was that when you've calmed down, we'll talk. In the meantime I'll get back to my perfect husband. See you, Ben."

He turned and walked out of the room before his body betrayed just how much his heart was racing. He was aware that someone had come out with him and he looked to see the woman who'd been in a battle of wills with Ben moments ago.

"I'm sorry you had to see that Mr...?"

"Anderson," he said, offering his hand out of politeness.

"You seem to have a real way with kids but I'm not sure about giving him your number..."

"It's fine, it was my decision. And I'd really like him to call me when he's not as wound up."

"Ben's always wound up," she sighed. "But thank you."

"I'd better go check my husband's not being eaten alive," he laughed. He walked down to the room that had been set aside for this very purpose and immediately spotted Kurt in the crowd.

He was sat at a table with a young girl in an unmistakable princess outfit. Of course. He picked his way through the crowd and sat at the table with them. Kurt introduced Blaine to Amelia and they spent the rest of the hour discussing the merits of different Disney princesses.

"You're in love," Blaine said quietly as they walked out of the room.

"I know we should take our time but..."

"We tend not to."

"What is it with us?" Kurt laughed. "But yeah... It's her."

"You're sure?"

"You're not?"

"She's adorable," Blaine said, slipping an arm around Kurt's waist and pulling him in close. "She clearly likes you."

"Hey, she got to talk Disney with you," Kurt laughed, stopping at the end of the hallway and grabbing the lapels on Blaine's coat. He pulled him in close and smiled. "We met our kid today, didn't we?"

Out of the corner of his eye Blaine saw a young boy stick his head around a door frame. Ben stared at them for a moment before disappearing back out of view.

"Yeah," Blaine said quietly, "we did."

 

*

 

Ben called him two days later and left a message.

"If you're screening my call you can fuck right off," he snapped. "I ain't no one's puppet. But yeah, you said you want to talk. Not like I have a cell you can call me back on but you know the home. That dive where I'm forced to stay? Well if you felt like saving me from these morons..."

Ben went quiet for a second and Blaine struggled to pick out what he was saying. He was clearly talking to someone and he could pick out the odd swear word but nothing else. "Whatever," Ben said. "Look, I've got permission from my jailors to go out tonight so if you felt like buying me a burger then... whatever. Only you gotta be here by six. No reason just I ain't waiting all night for you."

 

*

 

Blaine texted Kurt and said he was going out for dinner with a friend. Not strictly a lie but still something that settled heavily in his stomach. He told himself that he would be honest with Kurt tonight when he went home, depending on what happened.

"You came," Ben declared when he joined Blaine in the hallway.

"I teach," Blaine replied. "You knew that. Kinda means I won't answer my phone during the day."

Ben gave a small shrug. "Teachers at my school do. Kids too."

"Sounds like a great school."

"Oh yeah, best in the district."

"You want this burger or not?"

"Why? You buyin'?"

"Dunno. Still trying to work out if you're worth the effort."

"Oh if you're just fucking with me..."

"First rule," Blaine said firmly. "Cut down on the swearing."

"What?"

"The English language is an amazing thing. So many words to express yourself. Find ones that aren't swear words."

"You can't tell me what to do," Ben snapped.

"I'm buying you dinner, that earns me some rights."

"Fine. For tonight."

"Good."

"Where'd you want to go?" Blaine asked.

"Spain."

"I was thinking somewhere local, but if you've got a passport..."

"Are you for real?" Ben asked.

"No, I'm a figment of your imagination."

"Oh f—" Ben started then fell silent.

"C'mon," Blaine said, holding open the door for him.

 

*

 

The diner was tacky; Kurt wouldn't be seen dead in here. But it was where Ben wanted to go and he poured over the menu trying to decide what he wanted. It struck Blaine that Ben probably never came out to places like this very often – if at all – and so this choice was clearly important.

"Milkshakes look good," Blaine said.

Ben looked up from his menu with undisguised hope.

"What's your favourite flavour?"

"Chocolate. Or vanilla. Both."

"Me too," Blaine said. "Get one of each, we can swap. That way we get a bit of both."

Ben turned his attention to the menu, letting his eyes drift over the options. Across the table Blaine watched him, studied the looks that flashed, momentarily, over Ben's face. His stomach sunk as he realised what it meant.

"Order what you want," Blaine said.

"You mean that?"

"Yeah. Whatever you want, my treat."

"In that case I want The Works with a side of onion rings."

"Curly fries?"

"Of course," Ben smirked. "And as for dessert..."

Blaine laughed softly and nodded. "One step at a time, kid."

They ordered, their waitress laughing at the sheer amount of food Ben requested, and after bringing over their drinks left with a parting comment about 'growing boys'.

"It's not like they don't feed us," Ben said, shoving his straw into the chocolate shake. "But this place is awesome."

"You've been here before?"

"All the time when I was a kid. I came here with..." Ben stirred his milkshake and refused to look up. "With my dad."

"You don't have to talk about it," Blaine said. "I mean, there's a reason you're in the home so..."

"Dad killed Mom," Ben said bluntly.

Blaine fought not to choke on his own drink in surprise. Of all the situations he'd entertained that hadn't been one of them. Amelia was in the system because her mother couldn't cope; a string of abusive relationships and a fear of her daughter being caught in the crossfire. But Ben?

"He's in jail," Ben continued, "and I've been stuck in that dump for the last six months. The home before that was eight months. I made it to a year before that one, only six weeks in the first. Destroyed my room the day Dad was sent down."

"Right," Blaine said carefully.

"I have 'anger issues'," Ben said, miming air quotes as he spoke. "But then I think you knew that."

"You getting help?"

"When I can." Ben's voice was quiet now. "I mean, it's not cheap and there's a ton of kids like me in the system. Only so much public assistance to go 'round."

"I'm sorry."

Ben glared at him. "What for? Why do people always say they're sorry, like it's their fault or something? And you don't know me, don't act like you care."

"Who says I don't?" Blaine asked.

"Yeah, like that stuff happens instantly."

"It can," Blaine said, stirring his own milkshake. "I married my husband, Kurt, the day I met him."

"You what?"

"Kurt and I met in Vegas, we got married that same day. How is that so complicated to understand?"

"That shit actually happens?"

"Language, and yes."

"Always thought it was more complicated than that. How long you two been married now?"

Blaine laughed. "Now that's the complicated part."

"Talk while you eat," Ben commanded, as plate after plate of food arrived at their table.

 

*

 

For the most part Ben just listened as Blaine told a PG-13 version of his relationship with Kurt. Ben seemed to enjoy making fun of them, especially the bit where Blaine flew to New York and Kurt flew to Los Angeles.

"And they're going to let you two adopt?" Ben smirked as he checked out the dessert menu. "God help Amelia."

"What?"

"You two. You're Amelia's exit."

"Exit?"

"She's gettin' out," Ben said quietly. "Because of you two she's getting out. Any time a kid gets an Exit we all hear about it."

"It ever happened to you?"

"I'm still there, what do you think?"

"Amelia's not ours yet, nothing's set in stone. I just wondered if you..."

"Once," Ben said. "My second home. There was this couple, they already had a kid, a boy my age. I think adopting was a way of them doing some good? Maybe? Maybe they couldn't be bothered with the whole diaper thing a second time.

"Anyway, things are going OK, which in my world is pretty good, and then the resident kid invites me to a baseball game with his friends who are all up in my face about where I come from and they all want my story."

"You got in a fight," Blaine said.

"You know me so well," Ben quipped. "They didn't quite want me after that. Not when their son and heir and _blood_ was sporting a black eye and busted up lip."

"Do you want to get out?"

"Of the home? Shit, Blaine, why would I want to leave? I mean, I share a room with three other boys, one of who wets the bed if he gets scared. Dinner is like feeding time at the zoo and I can't remember the last time I got to watch what I wanted on TV. Forget latest fashion, bulk buy at Target.

"There are dozens of us and a handful of jailors, and while we're hardly _Annie_ it's not exactly home sweet home."

"Well if you're happy," Blaine quipped.

"Why? You gonna be my Exit?"

"Not that easy..."

"Never is," Ben said. "I'll have the blueberry cheesecake with ice cream."

"Ben..."

"No, you and your Vegas hubby are gonna have a perfect life with Amelia. Couple of New York gays and their rescue girl. Stuff of dreams."

"No, I mean Kurt doesn't know I'm here with you."

"People will talk," Ben smirked. "There's a word for guys your age hanging out with kids my age."

Blaine shot a look at their waitress who had chosen that moment to come and take their order, hoping that his expression carried the air of 'kids, what can you do?' to her.

"You told me that you weren't worth the effort," Blaine continued when their plates had been removed and his coffee brought over. "Yet here I am. Why do you think that is?"

"Because you like a challenge," Ben said, his gaze following the waitress as she served up his cheesecake and brought it over to them. "That's why you flew across the country for a guy you'd known for a week. It's why you're adopting a kid and not a baby. But I'm not a kid.

"I got one year left before I'll be in High School and four years after that I'm out on my own and I'll be trying to convince some convenience store to employ a kid with below average GPA. I have almost no chance at going to college or at getting any kind of decent experience, I'll be the Joe Average they talk about and that's OK, it really is. I know who I am."

"And who are you?" Blaine asked. "When I was your age I was still figuring that out."

"Well I'm straight," Ben quipped, "so I guess that helped a bit. So does having your dad in jail. Focuses your mind, makes you see things the way they are. I'm nothing special, I'm not the kid that stands out in the crowd. I'm not the one people notice, Blaine."

"I noticed you," he pointed out. "You got my attention, Ben, and you still have it. Now. What are you going to do with it?"

For a moment they just looked at each other over the table, each of them trying to work out where the other was coming from. Then Ben shook his head, returned to his cheesecake, and seemingly stopped short of licking the plate clean.

 

*

 

"This ain't no date, you don't have to walk me to the door," Ben said as Blaine also got out of the car.

"Actually I do," Blaine replied, "I'm under strict instructions to return you in person. I think they want to make sure you didn't do anything to me."

"This is probably a good thing," Ben joked. "I mean I can cause some serious damage."

"Yeah?"

"That room I trashed? Took them a whole week to fix it. Had to get guys in to patch up the holes in the wall."

"Impressive."

"I thought so too," Ben grinned. "So you gonna buy me a good meal again?"

"Only if we have something other than burgers."

"Nope, burgers or nothing. Me and that diner... we got history."

"Right. Yeah, fine. I'll just starve myself beforehand to make up for the intake."

"Oh god, have I landed myself one of these diet freaks?"

"No, you've landed yourself someone married to someone who's really particular about what people eat."

"Freak."

"His dad had a heart attack."

"OK, not a freak."

"No, Kurt isn't a freak."

"His dad OK?"

"Yeah."

"Mom?"

"He's got a step-mom..."

"Your parents?" Ben asked.

"Still around."

"Full set of grandparents." Ben seemed to consider this for a moment. "OK."

"OK what?"

"OK, I'll consider you."

"Consider me for what?"

"My Exit," he smiled. "But you've got a long way to go."

"Oh do I now?" Blaine laughed as he followed Ben up the stairs. "Good thing I have all summer then..."

 

*

 

When Blaine returned to the apartment Kurt was sitting on the couch reading. He looked up and smiled at his husband, slotting his bookmark into place.

"Hey," he said softly. "Good evening?"

Blaine's heart lurched a little when he remembered the white lie he'd told his husband. "Yeah, really good. Although I ate far too much."

"Always the way," Kurt laughed. "Want some green tea? Aid the digestion."

"You're far too good to me."

"Must be because I love you."

"I love you too." Blaine took a deep breath. "I wasn't... entirely honest with you about tonight."

Kurt stilled and Blaine could see the wheels in his brain begin to turn.

"I went for dinner with Ben," Blaine said quickly before Kurt could paint vivid pictures of infidelity in his mind. "The kid from the home."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Kurt asked, his body visibly relaxing. "You didn't need to lie to me about that."

"Because..." He took a deep breath and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Because I want us to be his Exit."

"His what?"

"His Exit. It's what they call... what the kids call adoptive parents."

Kurt stilled again and this time Blaine couldn't work out what was going on in his husband's head.

"Look, I know we're going through the process with Amelia and I haven't changed my mind on that front. It's just Ben..."

"This is the kid you told me about?" Kurt said quietly. "The one who was screaming at the world?"

"Yeah..."

"And you want to bring him into our home?"

"I want you to get to know him. OK? No promises, no requests, nothing. Just... come and meet him with me. Spend some time with him. There's more to him than his anger issues and..."

"He has anger issues?" Kurt interrupted. "Blaine! You know Amelia's background! We can't expose her to that again. We agreed that we would give her a stable, loving home..."

"I'm just asking you to come meet him with me. That's all."

"But you want to adopt him."

"I want _us_ to adopt him. Which is only going to happen if you want it too. So come and meet him with me."

"Just a meeting," Kurt said, his eyes narrowing dangerously. "No promises."

"Thank you."

"You want that tea?"

"Please," Blaine sighed, dropping onto the couch next to him. "Fair warning. Ben adores this diner. Burgers and milkshakes."

"Not a chance," Kurt laughed. He leant over and kissed his husband's cheek before getting up to put the kettle on.

 

*

 

"Oh so you do answer your cell then."

"Hello to you too," Blaine said. "It's lunchtime. No kids."

"Hence my call."

"Shouldn't you be at school?"

"Day off."

"Their choice or yours?"

"I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that the answer may incriminate me."

"Fair enough," Blaine laughed. "So to what do I owe this honour?"

"The jailors told me you're coming over day after tomorrow."

"Yeah."

"You and Kurt."

"Yeah."

"So?"

"So what?"

"If you're fucking with me, Blaine..."

"If you're going to use that language then I'm hanging up," Blaine replied, taking a bite out of the apple he'd brought as part of his lunch.

"Why are you coming?"

"I thought you wanted to see me. See us. Size us up for your Exits."

"Really?"

"Kurt isn't making any promises," Blaine said. "He's... wary."

"Of me?"

"Yeah."

"My anger," Ben said simply. "He doesn't fu... know me."

"Exactly. So you need to be on your best behaviour."

"I don't do tricks like some circus animal. I am who I am."

"Yeah, and what's wrong with that?"

"No one ever wants who I am."

"Who you are got my attention. So stick with that, kid."

"Blaine?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

Blaine smiled. "You're welcome."

 

*

 

Between then and their dinner date with Ben they had another "play date" with Amelia. Things were moving along and the three of them were bonding quickly. They read books, started on her school project that she needed to do for her move up to Middle School in the fall, played games and talked about things they liked to do. Amelia loved her music and performing, quickly putting on a show for them once she realised she had an appreciative audience.

"Are you going to take me home with you?" Amelia asked bluntly as their time was drawing to a close.

"Hope so, sweetie," Kurt smiled. "That OK?"

"Yeah!" she laughed. "Two dads."

"Two dads," Kurt repeated, instinctively reaching out and brushing a lock of blonde hair behind her ear.

"You can help me with my school work," Amelia continued, this time directing her comment to Blaine. "I don't get Math sometimes. It's hard."

"I teach English," Blaine laughed, "but sure. I can help you with your homework."

"Can I have my own room?" She looked at the pair of them, her eyes wide with hope. "I have to share here and I miss my old room. It was pink and like a fairytale."

"We can paint your room pink if you want," Kurt said.

"I like purple now."

"Purple it is then," Kurt laughed.

"We were wondering," Blaine said gently, moving so he was sat on the floor by Kurt, "if you wanted to come and have a sleep over at ours? See if you like living with us?"

When they'd arrived their social worker had pulled them aside, temporarily sending their hearts racing. They'd not slowed when she'd said that if Amelia wanted she could spend the night with them for a trial run.

Now their hearts were racing again while they waited for her answer. She took her time, seemingly thinking it over. Blaine's hand found Kurt's and he gripped it tightly.

"Yeah, I'd like that," Amelia said after a while, smiling at them both. "Can we go to the museum? I was sick when the school went and they were all talking about it and I didn't get to go."

"Sure," Kurt laughed softly, "we can do that."

"Cool!" Amelia laughed and she walked over to them.

Without prompting or asking she put an arm around each of them in a hug, Kurt and Blaine returning it in seconds.

 

*

 

"Kurt I..."

"Me too."

"It was..."

"Yeah..."

"Oh god..."

"And she's..."

"I know..."

"We're... fuck!"

"Yeah, we are..."

"I just..."

"Shit, Kurt..."

Their conversation of half mutterings and profanities continued from the door to the bedroom, hands pushing clothes out of the way roaming over the other's body. Blaine pulled Kurt down onto the bed before flipping him over, pinning his body to the mattress.

"We're going to be a family," Kurt managed to say. "Blaine... we're going to be dads."

That thought cut through Blaine's lust and he lifted his head from Kurt's neck where his mouth had been assaulting a moment ago. Their eyes met and they just stopped, looking at each other.

"I love you," Kurt said quietly. "So much."

"I love you too," Blaine replied. "No one else I'd rather raise a family with."

"We're going to have a kid. An actual _child_."

"That's kind of how it works," Blaine laughed.

"No, she's ten years old. She's already her own little person. But we get to watch her grow, develop..."

"Date..."

"Oh hell no," Kurt laughed, lifting his head so he could kiss Blaine. "Not for the next ten years. At least."

"Just ten?" Blaine said, kissing the tip of Kurt's nose. "I was thinking fifteen. Maybe twenty."

"Yeah, but I'd like grandkids while I'm still young enough to enjoy it. Twenty seems a bit long before she starts dating."

"Oh she can get married in twenty years' time," Blaine said, trailing kisses along Kurt's jaw line now. "Then we can be granddads."

"Remind me to call Dad in the morning, let him know."

Blaine stopped what he was doing and looked down at Kurt. "Seriously? I'm trying to feel you up," he said, shifting his leg slightly so he was pressing teasingly against Kurt, "and you're talking about your dad? Way to ruin the mood."

"I could have talked about yours," Kurt pointed out. "Deconstructed how he's going to be happy about it but your granddad is probably going to lose it..."

"Mood. Ruined," Blaine sighed, rolling off Kurt and lying on the bed so he was staring at the ceiling.

"Challenge. Accepted," Kurt said, his voice low and suggestive, as he climbed on top of his husband and started his own assault.

 

*

 

Kurt sighed, the figures and pictures and colours were starting to blur together and he had no idea what he was looking at any more.

"We are never going to get this done," Martha sighed, pushing a coffee across the table to Kurt. "We should call it a night, come to it with fresh eyes."

"Since when have we ever quit on anything?" Kurt laughed.

"Haven't you got a family to get home to?"

"I... Wow. I have a family," Kurt said, sitting back on his chair. "I've become that guy."

"Oh tsch," Martha dismissed. "You love it and you know it."

"Yeah, I do," Kurt smiled. "It's... everything. Blaine and I were fine before, we really were. I loved it being us but with Amelia it's... More."

"Fuck, my boy's gone all domesticated. So much for our cocktails until three in the morning."

"We'll still do that," Kurt laughed. "I'm entitled to the occasional night off."

"Like now. Go home, Kurt. You have a gorgeous boy and a beautiful girl waiting for you."

"Actually I don't," he said.

"What? She not staying over tonight?"

"Nope. We had her all weekend and agreed that we needed time to process how it all went."

"You have access rights to a kid you're adopting. That's fucked up," Martha laughed. "So go home to your boy then."

"No, we need to get this finished," Kurt said, looking back down at the pages scattered across the table. "An hour or two we'll have this cracked, I know it."

"You sure Blaine won't mind?"

"He knew what he was getting into when he married me," Kurt said. "You made sure to tell him. Repeatedly. At the engagement party, the bachelor night, the wedding reception, after the honeymoon, on our anniversary..."

"OK, OK," she laughed. "If we're going to do this we need food. So you let the boy know I'm stealing you and I'll go grab the delivery menus."

"Like you don't already know what you want," Kurt laughed. "You always get the same thing."

"So I'm a creature of habit," she shrugged. "That's why you love me so much."

"Yeah I do," Kurt smiled, leaning back in his chair so she could plant her traditional kiss on his lips.

"Tell Blaine I'll make it up to him," she called out as she walked out.

"I don't think that will help!" Kurt laughed, pulling out his cell to text Blaine.

 

**Me  
** 8:36pm  
Sorry, love, got to work. This feature spread is not playing fair and we may have to reshoot. Can we reschedule dinner? Can't be helped, really sorry. 

****

 

**Blaine Anderson (ICE)  
** 8:37pm  
fuck u 

****

 

**Me  
** 8:38pm  
Ben I assume? (Or if not then you're having a stroke, honey, call 911.) Something's come up at work and I can't get out of it. I am really sorry. 

****

 

**Blaine Anderson (ICE)  
** 8:39pm  
sure u r. U didn't even want 2 meet me in the first place 

****

 

**Me  
** 8:40pm  
Where's Blaine? 

****

 

**Blaine Anderson (ICE)  
** 8:41pm  
taking a piss. I'll tell him u ditched us 

****

 

**Me  
** 8:42pm  
It is not like that. I really do have to work. 

****

 

**Me  
** 8:44pm  
Ben? 

****

 

**Blaine Anderson (ICE)  
** 8:46pm  
No, but if you're going to start calling me that it had better not be after the rat. 

 

Kurt laughed softly and hit speed dial. "Sorry, just been exchanging texts with Ben."

"So I saw. Sorry."

"I really do have to work."

"It's fine, Kurt," Blaine said but Kurt could hear the clipped tone.

"Love..."

"Look, I need to go. Ben's... upset."

"You mean he's angry."

"Wouldn't you be?"

"Blaine, if I could be there..."

"So you've said, Kurt. Look, I'll see you at home," Blaine said firmly and then he ended the call.

Kurt stared at his phone for a moment before pulling up the camera app and moved it so he could get the full table in view. He snapped a picture of the pages and notes scattered across the surface and thought about sending it to Blaine with the caption _see? I do have to work_ but then realised how petty that was.

 

**Me  
** 8:55pm  
I am sorry. To both of you. I want to reschedule and I promise I won't cancel this time. Whenever it is I will make sure I'm there, no excuses. I love you. K xx 

****

 

**Blaine Anderson  
** 9:27pm  
I love you too. Text me when you're leaving the office, I'll have dinner waiting. B xx 

 

*

 

As the summer weeks stretched out Kurt and Blaine spent more and more time with Amelia. The "sleepovers" as they were called became more frequent and longer, Burt and Carole even managed to come over to New York to meet their new granddaughter.

"It's not official yet, Dad," Kurt said as they hung back and watched Blaine and Carole pushing Amelia on the swings. "So much paperwork to get through! At best we're looking at the Fall."

"She's your daughter," Burt replied. "I see the way you look at her. I can see it on your face, both your faces. Way you feel about her? Same way I feel about you. And Finn, in case you're worried."

"I'm not," Kurt admitted, twisting the lid off his bottled water and rolling it in his fingers. "I mean, I was, for a moment or two. But she's..."

"Everything?" Burt finished when Kurt couldn't.

"They told us, about her history," he said quietly as he took a sip. "Dad had a drug problem, used to get violent. Mom took off, came to New York and tried to make it as a single parent until he caught up with her. She was scared for Amelia so she... left her."

"How much does she remember?"

"Enough. Social worker said to be aware of nightmares, and if the adoption goes through—"

"Which it will."

"—then we need to be ready for panic attacks or her being afraid we're going to leave her too."

"Brave thing her mom did if you ask me," Burt said, keeping his gaze on where his family was. "Not an easy thing to do, lettin' your kids go. But if it's what's best for 'em then you get on and you do it."

"Why do I get the feeling you're talking about me?" Kurt laughed.

"You movin' to New York might have been the best day of your life but it was the worst of mine. You're my kid and you bein' somewhere that wasn't home? Took some gettin' used to. Then there was Adam and for a while I thought that he was going to be the guy you'd...

"Anyway, here you are. Nearly thirty, married, adopting this beautiful girl and I'm still havin' a hard time lettin' you go. So what her mom did? Makes her braver than I think I would have been."

Kurt thought about it for a moment. "I really should come home more, shouldn't I?" he said, prompting a laugh from his father. "I know what you really mean when you say stuff like that!"

"Me and Carole were thinking that we could turn one of the spare rooms into a place for Amelia. When you guys come over for Thanksgiving and Christmas and summer vacations."

"You just want us to move back," Kurt joked.

"Plenty of magazines and schools in Ohio you guys could work in," Burt said innocently. "Might be worth thinking of."

Kurt laughed and shook his head. "Christmas and summer, every other Thanksgiving. That's the offer, special occasions aside."

"You look at Carole and you tell me that she's gonna be happy with seeing that girl twice a year."

"You can always come out here," Kurt replied. "Plenty of garages in New York."

"Yeah, all servicing cabs and hundreds of 'em. Not my scene. Besides, we need to be around to keep your brother in check. He does alright by himself but I've caught Carole doing more than one load of his laundry this month alone."

The conversation came to an end as Amelia skipped over to them, her hand firmly in Carole's and a smile that was not going to go away any time soon.

 

*

 

While Kurt saw Burt and Carole off at the airport after their short stay, Blaine offered to drop some paperwork off at the home on his way back to the apartment, expecting to be in and out within a few minutes.

Best laid plans...

"Fuck you."

Blaine sighed and turned around, already knowing that Ben was behind him. "Good afternoon to you too."

"You should have been honest with me," Ben spat, "but then I guess I shouldn't be surprised. People like you always want just girls. What? Scared of some competition?"

Blaine took a deep breath, trying to calm himself or at the very least prevent an outburst that would have no good outcome. "In here," he hissed, almost pulling Ben into a nearby room. "I assume this is about the adoption going through?"

"So you're not as dumb as you look," Ben snapped. "Every time it happens we know about it. So what was I? A trial run? Or were you just leading me on? I mean, I knew you and her... But I thought that we..."

"Ben..."

"No, I get it. Two guys, you gotta have a girl, right? I mean, clearly the classic accessory for a couple of—"

"Shut up," Blaine cut across him. "You have got to learn to think before you speak because one day that mouth of yours is going to get you into some serious trouble."

"Oh what do you care?"

"You think I don't?" Blaine replied. "Fine. If you honestly think that I'm not in the least bit bothered about you, that I don't care one bit, then by all means walk out of here and you won't ever have to see me or hear from me again."

"Or...?"

"Or you can shut up for one minute and listen? Who knows? You might actually like what you hear."

"What? You adopting me too?" Ben quipped.

"Why not?"

"...What?"

"Why not? Kurt and I always talked about adopting more than one kid. We want a proper family, not two gays guys with the traditional accessory of a little girl." When he saw Ben flinch at his choice of words he took a deep breath. "OK, cards on the table. I think you're a great kid, I really do. But you're so wound up and angry and that's not going to help matters."

"I'm not always like this though!" Ben protested. "It's just... I thought you and me were... and then I heard about the stupid princess..."

"Amelia," Blaine corrected firmly.

"...Amelia, being official and I thought..."

"Question. Why would I put so much time and effort and energy into spending time with you if I was just going to walk off with Amelia without a second glance back?" Blaine asked. "Like I said, you're a great kid. But I'll be honest with you – all Kurt is going to see is the anger."

"So he's gonna judge me?"

"You blame him?" Blaine replied. "He and I dealt with our fair share of bullies and angry people growing up. We still do from time to time. Why would we want that in our own home?"

Ben's shoulders sank as he visibly deflated.

"When you stop and you think and you're not swearing or insulting people with every second word... You are the kind of kid I would be proud to give a home to."

"Why?" Ben's voice was quiet and innocent. He genuinely wanted to know.

"Because you have every right to be angry. Because life has dealt you a really shit hand—"

"Language," Ben quipped.

"—and you are fighting back. You are not letting it beat you and... I admire that about you. I wish I'd been you when I was younger. I didn't fight, I ran. I ran from every problem, every fight I should have fought, every hard conversation. My own grandfather refused to come to my wedding because he doesn't approve and I should have talked to him about it when I was a teenager. Now it's too late and my whole family has to deal with his bigotry. I didn't start fighting until I met Kurt. He was the first thing I really fought for, really tried..."

"Is this before or after the divorce?" Ben smiled.

Blaine laughed softly. "My point is... I get you. I can't imagine what your life has been like but I get you. I get the anger and I know what it's like. It's fight or flight and you come out fighting every time. I just need you to not fight me, OK? Yes, we're adopting Amelia. Yes, I still want to spend time with you. And, if you'll have us, maybe one day..."

"Well, I figured you'd be a decent dad," Ben said thoughtfully. "But dunno about Kurt. Never even met the guy."

"You will," Blaine said, reaching out instinctively. "But word of advice. If your opening phrase to him is 'fuck you' or any alternatives? It might not go so well."

"This is going to be like some screwed up _Princess Diaries_ make over, isn't it?" Ben sighed. "I need to be presentable for the Great Kurt."

Blaine could help but laugh. "You've seen the _Princess Diaries_?"

Ben glared at him. "You seen how many girls are here? And most of them are just like Amelia. All think they're princesses, all waiting to be rescued. Depressingly most of them do."

"Hey," Blaine said, hooking a finger under Ben's chin. "Happens for us guys too, y'know?"

"Hope so."

"Kurt will like you," Blaine continued, "you just need to show him a reason why he should."

"Prove myself worthy?" he snapped.

"Ben."

"I get it, I get it," Ben sighed. "My rep isn't great at the moment. Need to make amends, be a good boy. Go to school, do my homework, eat my greens. Lay off the swearing."

"I promise you I'm not done here," Blaine said. "I'd still like to see you, spend time with you. Somewhere other than that diner..." he started but when Ben shot him a look he smiled, "but whatever. I can help with your homework and hopefully feed you something other than burgers. And as for that mouth of yours..."

"Tape?" Ben suggested with a grin.

"Let's call that option B," Blaine laughed.

"I'm sorry. About before. And what I said."

"Good. Don't let it happen again." He felt his pocket vibrate and pulled out his cell, smiling when he saw Kurt's ID on the screen. "Hey," he answered. "Yeah, just at the home now... OK, be home in a bit... Love you too."

"Oh god," Ben sighed when Blaine answered the call. "You two are one of those gross lovey-dovey couples aren't you? I'm tellin' you now – I ain't putting up with no PDA in my kitchen right? Not over breakfast."

"How about dinner?"

Ben pretended to think about this for a minute. "After we've eaten. Don't want you makin' me lose my appetite."

"Only if you wash up."

"What?"

"That's the deal. Limited PDA, you wash up after dinner. You need to give us something here."

"Fine," Ben sighed with a grin. "You drive a hard bargain."

"Oh this is nothing," Blaine laughed. "Wait until we start talking curfews and dating rules."

 

*

 

As soon as Blaine had discovered that Ben had never been to a ball game he'd bought them tickets, ushering the excited kid to their seats with oversized drinks in one hand and hot dogs in the other.

"Better than a burger, right?" Blaine asked as they settled.

"'s OK," Ben mumbled around a mouthful. "I guess."

Blaine laughed and took a sip from his cup before setting it down.

"How's the princess settling in?"

"She and Kurt are painting her room today."

"And you didn't want to hold their brushes?"

"I had plans," Blaine smiled. He kept his gaze on the field but from the corner of his eye he saw Ben look over to him with a grin. "Plus Kurt's the designer in the family. I'm..."

"The social worker?"

At that Blaine did look over at Ben. "What?"

"Kurt fixes the princess' room, you fix me."

"I'm not here to fix you," Blaine said.

"You act like you care about me even though I give you nothing but crap. You're still bothering... and I don't get it. Social workers do that. Mine, I'm just another kid on a list she gets but she acts like I'm her son. Or nephew. Or a cousin she has to deal with, some shit like that.

"But you... I don't get why you come back."

Blaine gave a small shrug. "It's easy to love someone who doesn't love you back. You just get on with it. It gets hard when someone loves you back because you have to work for it. You feel you have to make yourself worthy of it. The thing is, you don't. You just get to be you and people love you for that regardless."

"Who turned you into a fucking Hallmark card?" Ben snorted into his drink.

"You just need to be you and the rest of us just need to get on with caring about you. And you don't need to do anything other than be yourself."

"Is that what it was for you guys?"

"Yeah, after a bit. We spent a week thinking we needed to be someone else for the other to want us."

"You make it sound easy."

"It was fucking hard!" Blaine laughed, ignoring the look of 'hypocrite' that passed over Ben's face. He was an adult, he was allowed a bit of hypocricy from time to time. "Those first few weeks were a nightmare. We went from nothing to living together and being engaged and it was not easy. We fought and nearly left each other several times but we stayed and worked it out because we knew it was what we wanted, what we needed.

"Above everything else I knew I wanted to be with him, to make a life with him, spend forever with him. So when it got hard and we'd been yelling at each other for hours because Kurt spent a few thousand on a jacket when we were saving for a wedding or because I would let the phone ring constantly instead of just talking to my grandfather... We found a middle ground. Something we were both happy with." Blaine quirked the corner of his mouth up. "So what do you want and what ground are you prepared to give?"

"I... dunno," Ben said.

"That's fine. We got time to work it out. And the best things need work."

"I know one thing."

"What's that?"

"I trust you," Ben said.

The crowd burst into cheers over... something, but Blaine barely noticed.

 

*

 

The adoption had been finalised mid-September so they begged off their traditional return to Ohio for Thanksgiving in favour of their first family gathering. Burt and Carole accepted this only on condition that they came for Christmas and New Year.

Kurt was able to do a lot of his work from home so they fell into a routine that Blaine would take Amelia the long trek to her school before going to work himself, and Kurt would collect her at the end of the school day. They'd already looked into moving her a little closer but decided they could see out the school year at least; there was enough disruption in her coming to live with them without taking her away from a school she'd only just settled into and friends that she'd only just made.

Settling into family life seemed to come easier to Amelia than it did to her new parents. She accepted the house rules (clean up after yourself, manners at all times, ask before taking or doing something) and worked with them to come up with a routine which was posted on the refrigerator door, detailing what chores she had around the apartment (clearing plates from the table each night except for Fridays when she would help to cook; keeping her room clean and tidy; putting her laundry in the basket each night).

That first night they had tucked her into bed, read her a story and even sung to her. Exhausted she was asleep before they could finish but they stayed with her for almost half an hour, just watching with a sense of fear and pride and love which was growing by the minute.

By the end of the first week they were a little less nervous but getting the hang of it. They adjusted their routine to suit Amelia, got used to planning who would be home and when and made sure that their cells were charged, on and within reach in case of emergencies. It took two weeks before they both had things they couldn't get out of and then Aunt Rachel came to the rescue. Amelia was enchanted by a real life Broadway star and soon Rachel was on approved lists with the school and doctors as someone else who could take some responsibility for her if neither parent could be found.

Which then led to another discussion, one a little more sobering.

When they'd gotten married they'd made wills which left everything to their surviving spouse. Now there was a child to consider and while it was easy enough to amend to leave money in trust for her the discussion about who would be her guardian should she lose them both was one that ran for almost a month.

Rachel would be the obvious choice; resident New Yorker, able to support a child. But her schedule was hardly child-friendly and it would have been too big a change for her.

Mercedes was next on the list but when they broached the subject as a possibility she politely declined. While she loved Amelia and was happy for them, she didn't see herself the mothering type and wouldn't want to risk it.

In the end they asked Finn. He was floored to be even considered and flew out to New York the next day to meet his niece. When he asked his brothers (because if he didn't put the "step-" in for Kurt he wasn't putting the "in-law" in for Blaine) why they chose him they just reminded him that he'd spent the entire afternoon catering to her every whim and request and clearly had a gift for making her happy. So while it would require a move back to Ohio it was the best option.

(Plus it meant that both sets of grandparents would be within easy reach for further backup. Just in case Finn tried to teach her how to dance or something.)

Bit by bit they made the changes to their lives to work around their daughter. By far and away the best bit was when they went to the City Hall, adoption papers in hand, to officially change her name to Amelia Anderson. They'd talked about it on her second night, said that she could keep her name of Johnson if she wanted, but she liked the idea of them being a family. Then she'd pressed her lips together, looked from one to the other, and declared that Blaine looked more like a dad and Kurt a papa so that were the titles sorted out.

Sometimes, Kurt said to himself, it was as if they'd ended up with a sixteen-year old in a ten-year old's body.

But there were nights, like this Saturday one, when the three of them were curled up on the couch with an oversized bowl of popcorn (no salt or butter – responsible parenting 101) resting beside them, when life was pretty awesome. Amelia had fallen asleep long before the wicked step-mother had been banished and the prince and princess lived happily ever after, but her dad and papa stayed where they were until the end credits rolled, their sleeping daughter wrapped up in the blanket between them, their hands clasped over the back of the couch.

 

*

 

Of course there was an awkward side to it. The first time Amelia burst into their room because she'd had a bad dream came, of course, at the worst possible moment. They'd had to ask Amelia to go back to her room and they'd be through in a minute in order to give them time to cool off, clean up, and get dressed.

After that their sex life became a lot less leisurely and a fair bit less frequent. But, on the whole, they considered it a fair trade off.

 

*

 

Kurt paused for a moment at the classroom door, adjusting the camera bag. He'd claimed this gig for "sentimental reasons" and so every year _Closet_ ran a feature on one Middle School's pre-Christmas fashion parade.

Most people at school and at the magazine saw it as another excuse for Kurt and Blaine to spend some time together.

They saw it as an anniversary of sorts, of a defining moment for them. They saw it as theirs.

Kurt grabbed the handle, swung the door open and had his traditional greeting of "someone call for a reporter?" on his lips when it stilled.

"You gonna stand there or you gonna help?" Ben asked.

"What is he doing here?" Kurt asked as he kissed Blaine's cheek in greeting.

"Helping."

"Blaine..."

"I asked him to come help. You know how busy this is, how popular it's become."

Kurt hummed in agreement; the last two years the project had extended and now proud parents came in to applaud their child's efforts. Soon after half the school was shutting down to support the event but a few things remained the same.

Blaine's classroom was turned into a mock catwalk and Kurt came along with his camera, notepad and a prize of a week's work experience.

"Why him?" Kurt asked.

"Because you promised me you'd meet him, you promised me you'd try," Blaine whispered softly by Kurt's ear under guise of pressing a kiss there. "So play nice."

"Always," Kurt muttered under his breath, looking at Ben with slightly veiled suspicion.

 

*

 

"So where's... Amelia?" Ben asked, hesitating slightly on the name as he reminded himself to _be nice_.

"In school," Kurt replied. "Why aren't you?"

"Blaine got me out," Ben replied with a smile. "Wanted me here. Wanted us to spend time together to get to know each other."

"He means well."

"He's stubborn."

"That's one way of describing it," Kurt laughed. "When he gets an idea in his head it's hard to get it out."

"What about you? You the same?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's just... Blaine said you..."

Kurt threw a glance over his shoulder to where Blaine was still working on the music playlist, headphones in. "Cards on the table?"

"Always," Ben said.

"No, I don't think it's a good idea. You and us I mean."

"My anger?"

"Among other things. If things don't go your way then..."

"I lose it?" Ben finished. "What? And when you don't get what you want you just get on with your life? Or was it someone else who dropped everything to fly across the country for a guy he'd known a week? You want something, you go get it. Same as me. Only difference between us is that the only hardship in your life came from being gay."

"It wasn't exactly a picnic," Kurt said.

"I'd have given everything for that life," Ben said. "Because if you think you had it bad then feel free to take mine. Take my father who would shout and scream at the top of his voice when he didn't get what he wanted; dinner on the table, football on the TV. And when that didn't work he resorted to his fists.

"He never actually hit me, Mom made sure of that. She took it all, for me, and it killed her. Do you know how long it took me to get my head around the fact that it wasn't my fault that she died? That I wasn't actually responsible? Every now and then the thought comes into my head that if I care about someone they're going to get hurt and so the best thing to do is to just not care.

"Mom did what she did because she loved me. So here's the double-edged sword; you care about me and you'll get hurt. Because everyone tells me I'm just like Dad. So one day I'm going to be that guy who yells and screams and swears to get what he wants and when I don't I'll use my fists.

"I'm not worth it, and that's exactly what I told Blaine when I first met him. And the second time. And the third and for a long time. And you know what he told me? I'm not him. I don't have to be him if I don't want to and you know what? I don't. I don't want to be angry and lashing out but for the last thirteen years it's all I've known and I can't change overnight.

"But him?" Ben said, gesturing over to Blaine. "He makes me want to. And I kinda like who I am when I'm with him. So, cards on the table? Here's the deal. I will try and I will work on this but I'm far from fucking perfect. If that's the kid you're after go home to your princess."

Kurt stood in silence for a moment, letting the information sink in before he said, "My turn. You've had it rough, fine, I get it. And no kid should have to go through what you did. Do I feel for you? Of course I do. Do I wish I could do something? Of course, who wouldn't? But here's my situation. My husband was _gay bashed_ because people lashed out in anger. Our daughter has a not-too-nice history of her own and I have to put them first. Which means I cannot have a loose cannon in our home. I can't bring someone who could, at any point, lose it and start screaming or using his fists because things aren't going his way. No matter how much I might want to.

"Does it mean I don't care? Of course not. But I have to put my family first, Ben. I need to make sure they are safe and protected and if there is any doubt in my mind about who you might take out your bad day on? I can't risk it."

"I would never..." Ben started but trailed off when he realised he couldn't make that promise. Not yet.

"You're all Blaine talks about sometimes," Kurt said quietly. "He cares about you, I know he does and believe me I can see why. But I can also see him loving you and not being able to be who you want him to be."

"Because of Amelia?"

"Because of Amelia," Kurt repeated. "And it's not your fault, it's not anyone's, it's just... how things need to be."

"But if I got better? If I kept working on my temper and I tried...?"

"I don't know," Kurt admitted. "I'm sorry."

"You guys OK?" Blaine called out across the room.

"We're fine, love," Kurt called back. He turned and walked over, asking if he'd finally got the music sorted, unconsciously draping a hand over Blaine's shoulders as he looked at the playlist.

On the other side of the room Ben dug his fingernails into his palms as his body refused to give into the tears. _Tears are a weakness_ , his father used to say. _You are not a man if you cry and you are certainly no son of mine_. Ben hadn't cried in front of anyone since that day and even though he wanted to, he wanted to prove his dad right and show that he wasn't his father's son, he still couldn't cry.

 

*

 

They were perfectly civil towards each other for the rest of the afternoon but they were also grateful that they had jobs to do, jobs which kept them busy and made keeping to themselves a little easier. Blaine didn't seem to notice as he organised children and showed parents to their places, set up the sound system for the kid in charge of the music and checked his note cards obsessively.

All too soon though every distraction was gone and it was just the three of them left in the classroom after the end of the school day. Ben had hoped that Kurt would leave to collect Amelia but apparently "Aunt Rachel" was doing that ( _Kurt's sister or Blaine's?_ he wondered briefly before deciding that he didn't really care) and so here they were. Stuck together.

 

*

 

"Well?"

Kurt sighed quietly, glancing up and down the now-empty hallway. He'd been waiting for this, knowing that at some point Blaine was going to broach the subject of Ben and family and he'd been trying to work out what his response was going to be.

"He was great today, big help," Blaine said. "And you saw him with the kids, he's great..."

Kurt knew Blaine was right. Ben had gotten involved, he'd been amazing with the kids (especially that girl who'd tripped up and run off stage in floods of tears). But their earlier conversation hadn't left his mind all afternoon.

"Blaine," Kurt said softly, getting his husband's attention. "I know that Ben has some really good qualities and it's clear he looks up to you, but..." He forced himself not to stall at the hurt look on Blaine's face. "We can't. You know his background and you know Amelia's..."

"He's not like that," Blaine protested. "He's a good kid."

"I don't doubt it but we don't know if he can... He's got issues and we don't know if they're going to come up again. I can't risk it, Blaine. We can't. Not with Amelia, not with... I know you mean well and I know today was about you trying to... But deep down, you knew this."

"I just wanted you to give him a chance," Blaine said quietly.

"I did," Kurt whispered, putting his hands on Blaine's shoulders before rubbing his hands up and down his upper arms. "I can see why you've been giving him so much time. And if things were different... But we have to think about Amelia and honestly, would you be happy to leave them alone together?"

Blaine inhaled deeply before leaning forward and resting his forehead on Kurt's. "I can't give up on him."

"No one has said that you have to, love," Kurt said, "but I don't think we can give him what..."

They were stopped by the sound of a crash from the classroom. Blaine pushed open the door to find Ben panting hard from exhaustion in the middle of the room, two tables upended on the floor.

"I want to go back," Ben snapped when he saw them, his eyes blazing.

"I think that would be a good idea," Kurt replied coolly.

Blaine said nothing out loud, but when Ben met his gaze his disappointment and hurt was loud and clear.

"Good luck with the princess," Ben sulked as he picked up his coat and bag. "Sure the three of you will have the perfect life that you want. Shame the rest of us have to live in the real world."


	2. Chapter 2

Blaine tried over the next few months to establish contact but Ben refused to see him. He dropped off a card and present for Ben's fourteenth birthday but it was mailed back unopened a few days later. No matter how many times Kurt asked Blaine to focus on the family he did have Blaine refused to give up on Ben, sending cards and leaving messages. Once a week Blaine went to the diner where he waited, always waited, to see if Ben would take him up on his offer of dinner.

He never did.

After nearly three months of silence Blaine resigned himself to never hearing from Ben again.

He should have realised two things.

Firstly – he'd made that kind of resignation once before. He'd resigned himself, years ago, to never hearing from Kurt again and so had booked a flight out of New York.

Secondly – Ben wasn't the kind of kid who just gave up and went quietly.

He was reminded of both of these things when the Principal interrupted his lesson with an important phone call from Amelia's school.

 

*

 

He didn't even breathe until he'd crashed through the main doors of Amelia's school, given his name to the receptionist who ushered him through to the Principal's office. The police were already there and it was less than ten minutes before Kurt arrived, equally as frantic and wound up.

 

_"We have circulated a description of Amelia to every officer in the area, we're canvassing shops and parks and sent someone to your apartment in case she makes it back there as well as to the children's home. If there's anyone else you think of she might have gone then let us know. The good news is that she's only been missing for thirty minutes. She can't have gotten far and in cases like this there is a very good chance that you'll all be home in time for dinner."_

 

Kurt remembered Mr Shue and Miss Pillsbury coming to his French lesson to tell him about his dad's heart attack. He remembered the feeling of his stomach dropping to his feet, his own heart stopping for that second.

He remembered seeing Blaine for the first time in Vegas, how his heart had stilled for a second, his stomach flipping over. How, over the course of that week, he'd been pulled apart and put back together emotionally. Waking up alone in New York and going to Los Angeles. Of coming home and finding Blaine there.

When Blaine proposed, the wedding, the conversation where they decided to apply for adoption, getting the confirmation letter... So many moments in his life when he'd felt sick with nerves or excitement.

All of that combined didn't come close to this. His daughter was missing, a runaway. The Principal, Mrs Hastings, had stammered some report about her being bullied by some older boys at the end of lunch, by the time staff had arrived the boys were saying nothing and Amelia was missing.

 

*

 

"How can you not know if she's not on campus anymore?" Blaine all but yelled. "How many exits are there? They should be covered, security cameras...?"

"I wish we had the funding..." Mrs Hastings stammered but she soon fell silent when Kurt snapped a glare her. "I'm sorry."

"She'd better be OK," Blaine hissed as his cell began to ring. "Hello?"

"Blaine?" came a voice which was quiet, as if he were whispering.

"...Ben?"

"Yeah."

"Look, this isn't a good time but I do want to talk..."

"I know," Ben said quickly. "I know you're at the school. Can you come to the locker room?"

"Ben..."

"Please? It's important."

"What's going on?" Kurt asked.

"It's fine, love," Blaine said. "Ben..."

"If I tell you something you can't say anything to anyone. Except Kurt of course. Promise?"

"What?"

"Just say yes if you promise. They can't know."

"Fine. Yes."

"Come to the locker room. Right out of the Principal's, down the hall and left at the end. We're at the end of the hallway."

"We?"

"Quickly," Ben said before he hung up.

"Everything OK?" Kurt asked, studying Blaine's face.

"No, I... need a break. Some air."

"OK," Kurt said, not buying it for a second.

"Come with?" Blaine asked, catching Kurt's eye.

"Sure," he said carefully, reading Blaine's expression.

"Might help. We'll find you if there's news," the officer said as they walked out.

"What...?" Kurt asked quietly as they turned right and headed down the hall.

"I don't know," Blaine whispered, "but I know it's something."

They reached the end of the hall and Kurt followed Blaine to the left. "What did Ben want?"

"To see me. Us. And to not tell anyone."

"Tell anyone about what?" Kurt asked as Blaine pulled up outside the door.

Taking a deep breath Blaine pushed it open. "Ben? Ben it's just us."

"Back here," Ben called and they followed his voice around a locker stack.

"This is not a good time, kid," Blaine started. "Amelia's..."

"Dad!" Amelia called, pulling away from Ben and running over to Blaine.

He dropped to his knees, arms outstretched to pull her in, holding on as tight as she was to him. Blaine's hands were strong on her back and head, Kurt's over his, on her body as the pair of them held her close, scared to let go ever again.

"What happened?" Blaine asked.

"Why is she in here with you when half the NYPD is out there looking for her?" Kurt said, turning to and on Ben. "What did you do?" he almost yelled.

"These boys were giving her hell," Ben started, backing away from Kurt as he realised just how _pissed_ he was. "I saw it, I stepped in, we came here. That's it, I swear."

"And you didn't think to tell the Principal?" Kurt yelled.

"I couldn't!" Ben replied.

"They don't stop," Amelia said quietly. "They won't stop and they don't care."

"What, sweetie?" Blaine asked softly. "Who doesn't care?"

"The teachers. I told them and they said the boys were being silly."

"Told them what?"

"They've been hassling her for weeks," Ben said. "Since... since they found out she was adopted by you two. When you both came for parent-teacher conference? It's just been names and giggles until now but..." He walked over to where Amelia was still clinging to Blaine. Moving into her line of sight he rested a hand gently on her arm. "Show them."

Amelia shook her head and clung to Blaine a little tighter.

"It's OK," Ben whispered. "What did I tell you?"

Amelia's first reply was muffled by Blaine's shoulder but after Ben gave her a little smile she lifted her head and repeated, "They won't hurt me while you're around."

"And I'm here, aren't I?"

"Yeah."

"So they're not going to get you. And I won't let them near you again. But you gotta show them."

"They'll be mad," Amelia whispered.

"No they won't," Ben replied. "I know Blaine, he doesn't get mad at no one. Not even me, and you know I'm trouble."

Amelia giggled at this and wiggled a bit so Blaine would let her go. She held out her left hand to Ben who took it carefully and pushed up the sleeve of her shirt.

There in black marker, scrawled up her arm in large letters were two words. _FAG CHILD_.

Amelia tried to pull back her hand but Ben held on, not tightly but firmly. "It's OK, princess," he said gently, his voice warm and quiet. "You can wash it off in a bit."

"They did this to her?" Blaine asked, trying not to cry or scream or run out and hurt someone.

"They... They weren't going to stop at this," Ben said. "One of them had a pen knife, he said he was going to make it permanent..."

"Ben came over, shoved them off me," Amelia said, pulling away so she could cover up the words. "He fought this boy and then he took my hand and we ran here."

"She was upset and by the time she'd calmed down and I'd found someone's cell in their locker..." Off Blaine's look he added, "What? I don't have one and I needed to call you. So I broke into a few lockers, you going to report me for that? I put it back."

"He did," Amelia confirmed. "I saw him."

"The teachers here are a joke," Ben said. "I wasn't kidding when I said they were useless. It's been going on for weeks and they haven't done anything."

Amelia stepped away from Blaine and wrapped her arms around Ben. "He saved me," she said, hugging him tightly.

Ben didn't even hesitate before his arms were around Amelia. Blaine wondered if Ben even knew he was pressing gentle kisses into her brown curls, one hand rubbing patterns on her back.

"We should let them know," Kurt said eventually. "Blaine, take Amelia back to the office. Say you found her hiding in a classroom or something. I want a word with Ben."

"Kurt..." Blaine began but when he met Kurt's gaze he quieted and nodded. "OK."

"It's OK, princess," Ben said when Amelia looked up at him. "It's gonna be OK now, I promise."

"You'll look after me?" she whispered, stepping back from the hug.

"Consider me your personal bodyguard for life," he grinned. "I'll see you soon, OK?"

"OK," she smiled.

"I won't be long," Kurt said as he turned to face Blaine.

"Come on, sweetie," Blaine said, taking one of Amelia's hands in his.

"I wanna wash my arm," she said.

"You can do when we're done, I promise."

As Blaine and Amelia left the locker room, Amelia giving Ben a small wave before the door swung shut, Kurt turned to face Ben and folded his arms.

 

*

 

To say that Blaine was furious would be an understatement. When he'd arrived with Amelia he'd asked her to show Mrs Hastings what was written on her arm. Then he asked one of the police officers to take her to wash it off while the other one stayed with him ("To stop me from doing something seriously illegal," he'd hissed).

By the time Kurt and Ben had joined them Blaine had already heard half-stammered apologies and excuses about no evidence and it being one child's word against another, how there was no proof – until now – of any homophobic bullying.

"If you think she's coming back here after this," Blaine said, his voice low and dangerous, "think again. I'll teach her at home until we can get her enrolled somewhere else. And once my husband and I have calmed down we are going to have a serious discussion about how to word our complaint against this school and the faculty."

"You know," Kurt added, "it was principals like you that made our life hell when we were in school. You act like you don't know or see what goes on and it's innocent kids that suffer because of it. If it weren't for Ben then things could have been so much worse."

"Ben?" Mrs Hastings asked, as if she was noticing him for the first time. "You mean he's tried to convince you that he saved her? Mr Anderson, I can assure you that Ben is not the kind of kid who would..."

"Yes he is," Kurt interrupted. "I know _exactly_ what kind of kid he is, and so does Blaine. And I promise you that the second he's ours, the second those adoption papers are signed, he's out of here too."

"Fuck that," Ben said, "I'm coming now."

"But... you can't leave during the school day," Mrs Hastings said. "You aren't his legal guardians, you have no rights."

"They were going to scar my daughter's arm with abuse," Kurt hissed, "and Ben is the only reason I am not demanding that _you_ are arrested for assault. If he wants to go then we both know he'll find a way."

Mrs Hastings shot a look at the police officer still stood in her office. He sighed, rolled his eyes, and turned to Kurt.

"You know where he lives?" he asked.

Kurt nodded. "Children's home, few blocks over."

"Then I trust you can... make sure he gets back there safely?"

Kurt caught the look in his eye and smiled. "Of course."

"Then I think it wise that we make sure this young man is in a place where he might not be tempted to... abscond from," the officer said. "Get your family home, we'll be in touch."

"Thank you," Kurt said quietly.

The three of them walked out of the Principal's office, meeting Amelia in the hallway. She slipped one hand into Kurt's and the other into Ben's as they all walked out of that school for the last time.

 

*

 

"Yes... I know it's not... Well you come over here and tell Ben he can't stay!"

Blaine laughed softly as Kurt made his case to the home, turning his attention to the family room where Amelia and Ben were deeply ensconced in a game. Since they'd come back to the apartment that afternoon the two of them had been inseparable.

"Right, we'll see you in the morning," Kurt said, finishing off the call. "He can stay the night."

"We knew he was staying," Blaine laughed, "the question was whether the home agreed to it." He moved behind Kurt, slipping his arms around his waist and propping his chin on his shoulder. "Did you mean what you said? About Ben... being ours?"

"Another thing they're not happy about," Kurt said. "It's apparently not 'the done thing' to process two adoptions so close to each other."

"So they won't let us?"

"Oh they will, they just don't know it yet," Kurt said.

"So you were serious."

"Of course."

"What changed your mind?"

"Ben did. Today. He took his anger and his strength and he used it to protect Amelia. He made it something good. And you've seen them together. He treats her like..."

"Like she's his sister," Blaine finished.

"Why are you always right?" Kurt laughed. "You knew he was going to be part of our family. You just... knew."

"And you just needed time, same as you did after Vegas."

"I did not!" Kurt laughed, pulling himself out of Blaine's grasp. He turned and Blaine playfully. "You were the one holding back, not saying what you felt."

"If that helps you sleep at night then by all means..."

Blaine's teasing got no further as Kurt pulled him in close and silenced him with a kiss

"I said I wasn't dealing with no PDAs," Ben said, attracting their attention. "If I'm going to stay here you two gotta keep it PG. PG-13 on weekends and special occasions only."

"Is he serious?" Kurt asked Blaine, one eyebrow raising in mock disbelief.

"I warned him that we'd have some serious rules for him," Blaine interjected. "And I feel it only fair that ours are just as severe as his for us."

"I like this," Kurt said, turning a little so his body was angled into Blaine's. "If we're limited to PG then I feel his curfew should be... eight?"

"Seven. Eight on weekends."

"No way," Ben said.

"PG-13 buys you eight and nine."

"What rating buys me a time that doesn't make me a freak?" Ben asked and then scrunched up his face. "Don't tell me."

"You do your share around the apartment and you are on babysitting duties for Amelia on occasion," Kurt said.

"Does that include renovations because I seen your spare room. Or closet to give it its proper title."

"He has a point," Blaine said quietly into Kurt's ear.

"We'll sort it," Kurt said. "You know this isn't going to be sorted out quickly?"

"Why not?"

"We've only been Amelia's parents for a few months and..."

"You think it's too soon?" Ben said, anger rising in his voice. "So what? You want me to wait around?"

"OK, first rule," Kurt said firmly. "You shut up and listen before you fly off the handle. You keep that temper of yours in check and you do not, under any circumstances, act like that in front of Amelia. She adores you and she trusts you and you break that and any chance you have with us is gone, you understand?"

Ben nodded and, after meeting Blaine's glance, stayed silent.

"No, we do not want you to wait around. No, they're not happy about it but that doesn't mean we're out of options. We can do some residency thing and we will make it official. I meant what I said today.

"Second rule. You go to school and you stay in school. You have just over a year left of Middle School and you will not screw up High School. All we are going to ask of you is that you treat our home and the people in it with respect. Which means following our rules, no arguments or hassle.

"Third rule..."

"No having fun at any time?" Ben quipped. "I get it. Be a good boy and play nice. I know I'm not the poster child for this and I'm probably not what you had in mind when you went looking for a kid. But I know a good thing when I see it. Blaine's never given up on me and you're givin' me a chance. I 'ain't going to screw that up.

"I never thought I'd be the kid who got an Exit and now I've got one and it's not all that bad—"

"Thanks," Blaine laughed softly.

"—so I'll play nice, I promise."

"Ben!" Amelia called.

"Yeah, I'm coming!" he called back. "She wants a drink."

"Juice boxes in the fridge," Kurt said. "And Ben? I meant it. We do want you here."

"Thank you," Ben said as he picked up the drinks and went back to Amelia.

"So then, Mr Anderson," Blaine said quietly as he pulled Kurt back in close, "seems like we have ourselves a family."

"Yeah," Kurt hummed, "we do."

"What happened in the locker room?"

"That's between me and him."

"Well," Blaine mouthed against Kurt's neck, "I love that you're trying."

"How much?" Kurt laughed.

"Wait until the kids are in bed and..." Blaine began, then sighed. "Oh god, we are so parents."

"Yes we are," Kurt laughed.

 

*

 

It was a couple of months before Blaine was finally able to take stock of what Ben was doing to his family. He watched his daughter grow in ways he'd never imagined. It made sense to enrol both of them at Blaine's school and so he was able to see her at school and at home, growing into a strong young woman.

He watched them bond as siblings, the Anderson kids. In the yard Ben would have one eye on her, making sure that anyone who saw the slight young girl as a target knew that she was anything but, knew that she had someone in her corner. But she didn't always need her big brother looking out for her. Under Ben she grew in confidence, in strength. Their little princess wasn't the coy, defenceless little girl she'd been before.

It wasn't just one sided.

When he was around Amelia Ben was more focused than Blaine had ever known him. He settled into school, worked hard and was getting good reports from his teachers. His temper was in check, since moving in with them Blaine had really only heard frustrated yells aimed at the TV during the games they watched together.

That's not to say Ben was suddenly perfect. More than once Ben had to cool off before he blew, but he was learning to do it himself. Very aware of Kurt's warning he made sure that he never lost it in front of Amelia, a fact that Blaine was nothing but proud of him for. Ben was doing everything he could to make sure that he did right by them.

Blaine just wished he could say the same about Kurt.

They'd just closed on a house and were moving that weekend. A proper home for the four of them; basement downstairs, decent sized rooms (master bedroom on entrance level, two decent sized bedrooms with their own bathroom upstairs), a kitchen area just off an open plan family room Kurt was already in love with and an honest-to-god garden. Well, yard. Outside space. But it was all theirs. 

Anyone who met them could see how much Kurt loved his husband and Blaine still looked at Kurt in a way that was a cross between complete adoration and astonishment that he'd been so lucky. Amelia was their little girl, an outpouring of love that was constant, tactile. Hugs and kisses and play wrestling.

Blaine and Ben watched games, talked, had dinner together (the diner one week, a place of Blaine's choice the next) and they worked out the dynamics of their new father-son relationship.

Kurt, on the other hand, did none of this and Blaine was slowly realising that his husband was keeping their son at arm's length. He just wished he knew why.

 

*

 

Blaine had tried everything he could think of. He took Amelia out for evenings and entire days to force Ben and Kurt to spend time together. More and more things "came up" last minute and so Kurt was forced to pick Ben up from school or a friend's or from his therapy sessions (which Blaine had tentatively suggested Ben might want to help deal with his anger issues).

To look at them you'd see a family who loved each other, two people providing a stable, safe and loving home to two children who were happy and loved and thriving. Ben and Amelia had everything they needed and more things than they ever wanted. Their own rooms, own things. And they grew together, forming a strong sibling bond which reminded Blaine so much of what he saw between Kurt and Finn.

Ben was trying so hard to make things right. They worked out strategies for his anger, identified triggers. (Math, apparently, was a big thing. Something Blaine could fully understand.) They found a therapist and Ben had standing appointments every few weeks and additional ones when needed. He followed every one of Kurt's rules about being restrained and respectful and helpful. He jumped through every hoop put in his way because he knew, because Ben knew how lucky he was.

So Blaine told Kurt this, repeatedly. He told Kurt about the conversations they'd had about Exits and not feeling like he was worth it. Kurt nodded and alluded to already knowing this (Blaine still didn't know what they talked about at the school that day).

Blaine used everything he could think of to get Kurt to at least consider Ben as his son – even if it meant lying by omission.

During his first week at his new school there had been a run in with the resident tough kid and Blaine had been called to the Principal's office not as a colleague but as a parent. It had been one moment, one shove, going no further but Ben had been outright _terrified_ that it would be enough for Kurt to send him back. And so Blaine had promised him that if it never happened again, if he got help, that it would stay between them.

Sometimes though, Blaine wondered if Kurt knew anyway.

 

*

 

"He hates me."

"He doesn't hate you."

"He does."

"Ben..."

"I really thought he'd come around, y'know? After... what he said? I thought that this was it, I'd got my Exits and they're actually pretty decent. And more than that I was getting a sister into the bargain. I never looked twice at Amelia when we were in the home but now... And you, you gave me chance when I didn't think I deserved one. And I will never forget that. But..."

"Don't you dare."

"What?"

"Don't you dare suggest what you're about to suggest."

"And how do you know what I'm about to suggest?"

"Because I know you, kid."

"Kid. Wow. Really playing that dad card aren't you?"

"Like you let me."

"I've been thinking about that actually."

"What? The whole dad thing?"

"Kinda. More like the name thing. I was wondering... if it would help... if I were..."

"An Anderson?"

"Yeah."

"Is it what you want?"

"I want to be part of the family."

"You are. Or did you miss the whole paperwork thing? Few more weeks and the supervision is up and you're ours."

"I mean like... properly. Not sure how I feel yet about the whole dad, papa thing. But I... kinda like the idea of being an Anderson."

"Amelia said something, didn't she?"

"...Maybe."

"She wants her big brother to have the same name as her."

"And we all know, what Amelia wants she tends to get..."

"Yeah. And she wants you to stay. So what does that tell you?"

"That I gotta do something."

"No. _You_ don't."

 

*

 

Blaine had told Rachel to take the kids that evening – the fact that he'd _told_ her betrayed how important it was and so she'd agreed without her usual protests. When Kurt came home he was surprised with an intimate dinner for two but had no complaints.

Since adopting Amelia they had had very little time for themselves, moments here and there. Since Ben came along that time had been even more rationed, especially given Kurt's... opinion.

"Can I ask you something?" Blaine ventured as they cleared away the table.

"You don't need to ask," Kurt laughed as he started to run the faucet.

"Do you want to adopt Ben?"

"What? Why would you ask me that?"

"Few more weeks and the adoption is finalised. If this isn't working then we need to do something sooner rather than later."

"So after all the meetings and supervisions and questions you think I'm going to turn around last minute and say 'no thanks, sorry, take him back'?"

"You tell me," Blaine said quietly.

"Blaine," Kurt started, shutting off the faucet and drying his hands. "I do care about him and I want him to stay. I know you and Amelia adore him..."

"But you don't?"

Kurt sighed. "It's just... hard for me."

"He thinks it's his fault."

"What?"

"Ben. He thinks it's his fault. He thinks that you don't love him because he's not worth it. He thinks all you see is the bad stuff and not how hard he's working. His caseworker has nothing but positive things to say about him..."

"Like he's fixed?" Kurt said sharply. "Like he comes and lives with us and suddenly all his anger and his problems, they just go away? I know he's trying, I get it, I do. But I'm not standing here thinking that he's suddenly the perfect kid because he's not. He's got issues and he's got problems and they are not going to be fixed because he's here and he's talking to someone every other week."

"No one has ever said that he's..."

"No, but it's what you expect," Kurt interrupted. "Because I'm not treating him like some normal kid..."

"Normal?" Blaine spluttered. "What exactly would be normal?"

"Normal is not pretending to be something you're not. Normal is being honest about what you can and you can't do. Normal is not putting innocent people in harm's way."

"When have any of us been in harm's way? I know Ben's... He never would. Not us."

"And so that's OK. Because we're not the ones in the firing line it's OK?" Kurt asked. "What about other people? We are _responsible_ for him, Blaine. For the next seven years we are one hundred percent responsible for him and even after that. We are the ones they are going to call..." Kurt stilled, taking a deep breath.

"When he fucks up?" Blaine finished. "What? When the police are on our door because he's beaten someone up? That really where you see him ending up?"

"It's a possibility and you know it," Kurt challenged. "If you weren't worried about him and his temper then why the hell did you find him the therapist?"

"Because of _you_ ," Blaine snapped. "Because he's terrified that he's going to fuck this up. He's terrified that he is going to slip up and _you_ are going to kick him out. He's on probabation not only with the State but with you and he is convinced that he is just going to be shipped off when it all gets too much.

"Ever since his mom died he has been shipped off, moved around without consideration or anyone asking him how he feels about things. Did you know this is the first time he's ever felt really settled somewhere? He calls this _home_ , Kurt He calls this home."

"Do you _dare_ make me into a bad guy here," Kurt snapped. "I am trying to keep a level head, trying to make sure we don't get in too deep too quick."

"Two words, Vegas wedding."

"Different situation."

"Not really," Blaine said. "You and I have a habit of jumping in..."

"This is a _child_ we're talking about, Blaine. You and me? That's something else. When we got married the only lives we could fuck up were our own. We did fuck it up! We cannot get it wrong with them."

"What makes you think that we will?" Blaine asked. "We haven't so far..."

"Because it could happen," Kurt said firmly. "Because right now I feel it's a very real possibility and... I just can't. I can't attach myself to him when he's like this. I can't just stand by and watch people I love get hurt."

"The only person getting hurt here is Ben, Kurt. He doesn't know what he can do to fix this. He thinks he needs to fix this."

"So what? It's my fault?"

"You're the parent here, Kurt. We're the adults. It's our job to provide a home for him, not his job to... fit in."

"It's my job to love you," Kurt said quietly, remembering something.

"What?"

"Nothing," he dismissed. "I'm not saying he has to go and I am not saying that he..."

"What are you saying?" Blaine asked.

"I just... need time, that's all."

"Time? For what? For him to prove himself?"

"Blaine, please," Kurt said softly. "Just... give me time."

"What is it you're not telling me?" Blaine asked, studying Kurt's expression for anything that would give him away. "Kurt..."

Kurt took a deep breath, letting his eyes drift shut. "I just... I'll get there, OK? But please don't push it and please don't try and analyse it. This is something... I need to deal with."

"That _we_ need to deal with," Blaine tried to correct. "We do things together remember? Team us. No secrets and no hiding stuff because that does not work out well for us."

"I know, love," Kurt sighed. "But... I need this one. For now. Because Ben needs you in his corner and..."

"Why does he need me in his corner?" Blaine asked. "Kurt..."

"I didn't mean it like that."

"Then how did you mean it?"

"Blaine... shit, this is not... I can't..."

"If you just told me what is going in that head of yours then maybe I would be able to help."

"You can't, OK? You can't help with this so you just need to let me deal with it."

"Let _you_ deal with it?"

"Blaine..."

"So it's not just Ben you're shutting out now, it's me."

"No, Blaine, that's not..."

"That is _exactly_ what is happening here. Kurt, please," he begged. "Tell me what is wrong and we can..."

"You can't fix this," Kurt whispered. "Please, Blaine..."

"You know what? Be like that." Blaine snapped. "You want to keep pushing people away then you are going to wake up alone, just like you did once before."

The memory stung them both but neither of them said anything. After a long moment when they seemed to be waiting for the other to say something, do something.

Then the door opened and they heard Rachel and Amelia and Ben and the issue was left.

 

*

 

The last few weeks of Ben's supervision period flew by and once it was finally legal and he was theirs, Burt and Carole, Harry and Eliza came to New York to spend some quality time with their grandchildren.

The first thing Ben did when he opened the door to find four people standing there who'd only ever existed in a computer screen?

"Got my presents?" he asked. When the four of them exchanged _"What?"_ looks Ben shrugged and pushed the door shut. "Shops are still open," he called out. "You just got yourself a grandson and heir. Least you can do is buy me something expensive."

When Kurt and Blaine finally managed to get the door open they were all ready to apologise until they saw that Burt and Eliza were doing a very bad job of hiding their giggles and Carole and Harry were grinning.

"Got your hands full with that one," Harry said. "He's an Anderson alright."

"Is this a good thing?" Ben asked from behind them.

"Jury's out," Blaine teased, shooting him a warning look. "You? Be nice."

Ben folded his arms and grinned. "Give me one reason why." 

"Our wills," Harry said, walking into the house and shrugging off his coat. "Everything was going to our boys here but now you could get a cut when we die."

"I'd get it anyway when these two kick the bucket," Ben pointed out.

"Yeah, but you'd have to wait."

"This is true."

"And then there's my dad," Harry continued. "He may not be the most... forward thinking man, but he's got great-grandkids now..."

"OK, I'm sold. I'll be good. May I take your coat, sir?"

Harry laughed and draped it over Ben's outstretched hand. "You're an Anderson alright."

"Got the paperwork to prove it an' everything," Ben grinned.

"Anderson Pops!" Amelia called, running from the family room room and throwing her arms around Harry's waist. She only pulled free when the three other grandparents were available for hugs and kisses.

"Hey Dad," Kurt said as Burt pulled him into a hug. "How was the trip?"

"Fine, long, usual. How're you?"

"I'm good. Great."

"Getting used to the family life?"

"Something like that."

"Only you and Blaine could go from it being just you to having a couple of kids in a year," Burt laughed. "Tell me you're going to slow down because Carole and I are just about keeping up but we're not as young as we used to be. If you're going for a whole team..."

"No, we're done, Dad," Kurt laughed. "Got our hands full with these two."

"But in a good way, right?" Carole asked. "Blaine told us about... about Ben."

"What?"

"We do talk, love," Carole smiled. "Blaine wanted... some advice."

"About what?" Kurt asked.

"About bringing Ben into this house. With you."

"What did you tell him?" Kurt asked, keeping his gaze locked with his dad's.

"Do you mean, did we tell him?" But asked. "No. Which raises the question, why haven't you?"

"Because it's in the past."

"Really?"

"Really, Dad. What happened... It happened and I can't change that."

"You know it wasn't your fault, right? I don't want you taking it out on Ben because..."

"I wouldn't do that," Kurt said forcefully but quietly. "I know he's not... But we learn from our mistakes and that's what I'm doing."

"So long as you don't shut him out. He's your son now, Kurt. Your job in this is simple. You care for him, you support him, you make sure he's happy and safe. And everything else is negotiable."

"Even his future? Our future?"

"Especially that," Burt said. "I never would have chosen a Vegas wedding to a stranger for you, especially seeing how hurt you were over it. But I'd not change any of this for anything. You and Blaine, you're making an amazing life for all of you. Amelia is an amazing kid and from what we've seen about Ben..."

"It's different day to day though."

"You don't need to tell us, love," Carole said, putting a reassuring hand on Kurt's arm. "We raised our own boys, both of you..."

"But this isn't that. You got to be there from day one, you got to..." Kurt stopped and took a deep breath. "It's just... hard, that's all."

"You and Blaine, you guys OK?" Carole asked, narrowing her eyes a little.

 _No_. "Yes, of course we are," Kurt said effortlessly. "Trying to find time for us between the two of them but we'll get there."

"Well we can get some quality grandparent time in while we're here if you want? Date nights are important when you've got kids."

"Carole and I made sure we had them, even though you and Finn were old enough to do your own thing," Burt added. "It was important that we had time as a couple..."

"You guys OK?" Blaine interrupted and in that moment Kurt had never loved him more. "Amelia's wondering where 'Hummel Pops and Nanna' are."

"I still don't know if I like nanna," Carole said. "Makes me... sound old."

"But you are doing it gracefully," Burt laughed, putting an arm around her shoulders.

"Come on," Blaine said softly, "the family are waiting for you."

For a second Kurt wondered if the comment had been aimed at him rather than them. Blaine turned and walked from the hallway to the family room, leaving Kurt's hand feeling cold and empty.

 

*

 

Carole and Burt were true to their word and took Ben and Amelia out on Saturday morning. Harry and Eliza were scheduled to meet them for lunch and take the afternoon shift, giving Kurt and Blaine an entire day kid-free. Normally this idea would have been welcomed and put to good use.

After seeing the kids off, however, they spent the morning working, each of them doing things that could feasibly wait. Over lunch they made small talk, deciding to watch a movie that was rated higher than PG-13 for once.

"Can I ask you something?" Blaine said again after the opening ten minutes.

"Of course," Kurt replied again.

"...Are we OK?"

Kurt felt his chest tighten and he tried to stay composed enough to turn and look at his husband. "What?"

"I just feel like... like we're not what we were. Before."

"We're parents now, Blaine. They warned us this would happen. All those meetings, all those adoptive parents. They said that our relationship would change. Hell, _our_ parents told us!"

"You know what I mean," Blaine said softly. "I love you, probably more than I have ever loved you. We have a family together, kids... They call us dad and papa, well, OK, Amelia does, but we are their dads."

"But?" Kurt prompted.

"But I don't feel like I'm your husband anymore."

Kurt opened his mouth to say something but words failed him.

"This is the closest we've been in weeks, we're not talking..."

"What do you call this then?" Kurt asked.

"You know what I mean," Blaine replied. "We don't _talk_ and you're hiding things from me."

"Blaine..."

"But more than that... We're not us anymore."

"I don't know what you mean," Kurt said quietly.

"Look at us, Kurt. Sitting side by side on the couch as if the kids were here and so we need to hold back. How many times have we _watched_ a movie?" he stressed. "And it's not just about becoming parents. When Amelia came we still made time, we still..."

"Ben," Kurt sighed in frustration. "I thought we'd talked about this."

"We talked but we didn't sort anything out."

"Who says there's anything to sort out?" Kurt asked, standing up and clearing away the untouched bowl of popcorn.

"Kurt..."

"Why can't you just let it be? Things are fine, we're doing OK. The adoption has been finalised, he changed his name. We're all Anderson, we're all one big happy family."

"Except we're not," Blaine said. "You're not. I can see it."

"Can you now?" Kurt said sharply.

"I know you," Blaine replied. "And I know you're not... you're not happy. Not really. Not like you have been and not how you should be. This should be the best times of our lives. We have a family and a proper home and everything we said we wanted. But instead of enjoying it you're holding something back."

"Am I now?" Kurt asked, not daring to look at Blaine.

"You know you are. Same way you were holding back after Vegas."

"That was different."

"You held back from me because you didn't want to get hurt, because you didn't know... But I don't get it with Ben. He wants to be here, Kurt. He is trying so hard and..."

"And it's easy when he has you in his corner," Kurt snapped. "When he's got you covering for him."

"What...?"

"The fight at school? We're both listed as his parents, they do tell me things too you know," Kurt snapped. "So what else are you keeping from me?"

"Nothing," Blaine said quickly. "It was a mistake, it was one thing early on and I swear that there's been nothing..."

"Makes it hard for me to believe you when I know you've lied to me already."

"Can you blame me?" Blaine yelled, standing up. "He was _terrified_ that one mistake was going to be it. You told him that you would send him back if he got into trouble, like he should be perfect and not have a temper any more. He is trying _so hard_ and what are you doing? Standing around waiting as if it's just a matter of time before he blows."

"Maybe it is just a matter of time," Kurt replied, "have you thought about that?"

"What? No! Why would I?"

"Because it's who he is, Blaine. He has anger problems. Real, identified anger management issues and there is no switch we can flip to make everything better. Yes, he's getting better but he's also going to slip up and one day it's going to be too much and..." _we'll lose him_ , he finished silently.

"So what? You've already written him off? Is this why you won't get close to him?"

"Blaine..."

"You never stop hugging or kissing Amelia but Ben's lucky if he gets an arm slung around his shoulders. He isn't against physical contact."

"I know," Kurt sighed, thinking about all the times Blaine had pulled Ben into tight hugs or even kissed the top of his head. "I just..."

"Don't love him," Blaine said dully. "You care but you don't love him."

"Blaine..."

"I get it, I do. It's hard. We fell quick for Amelia but she made it easy and I had time with Ben... Maybe, with time, you could...?"

"I don't need time," Kurt said quickly. "Blaine..."

"Then you need to learn how to deal with it," Blaine snapped. "Because I swear to you that I will put him first. If you can't deal with this, if you are going to make him feel like he's not a part of this family..." Blaine stopped short on his threat, taking a deep breath. "You're his dad now. That comes with responsibilities."

"You think I don't know that?" Kurt yelled. "You think that I _want_ to be like this? You think I want to keep a _child_ at arm's length and make him feel like this?"

"Then why the hell are you?" Blaine shouted. "Why can't you just show him that you care?"

"Because he's broken!" Kurt yelled without thinking. "Because he is going to snap one day and we can't fix that. Because he's..."

"Broken," Blaine repeated quietly.

"I can't get attached, I just can't."

"Because he's broken," Blaine continued. "I was broken."

"What?"

"When we met, I was broken. I was broken for a long time. In Vegas, at my parents', at yours, here in New York."

"No, Blaine, I didn't mean..." Kurt started, his brain desperately scrambling to try and fix this.

"I get it." Blaine's voice was suddenly cold, detached, and it made Kurt still. "He's screwed up and he's not perfect and he's got issues. I run but he lashes out. I nearly ran so many times, you know that. I was so scared it was all going to go wrong and I couldn't deal with losing someone I loved so much and so... But I didn't run because I knew that you loved me and you wanted me and that kept me grounded.

"Ben doesn't have that. He doesn't have you to keep him grounded and I am trying for both of us but I can't do it on my own. I don't want to do it on my own but if I have to..."

"What?" Kurt whispered.

"It's not just us anymore, Kurt. You can't just pick and choose your affection. And I can't do this if we're not on the same side. It won't work." He lifted his head a touch, rolling his eyes upwards as he tried to fight back the tears. "This isn't me running... but it is you refusing to admit when it's not right. It is you not wanting to... end it."

"End it?" Kurt stammered. "Us? Is that what you mean?"

"I... don't know," he admitted. "I just don't know any more. I just feel like you're making me choose between my husband and my kids. And I can't, Kurt, because they feel like my kids. Both of them. I love them and I can't imagine not having them around... but you... us..."

"I don't want that," Kurt said quickly, moving over to where Blaine was stood. "Please... believe me... I don't want..." He reached out and took Blaine's left hand, his thumb running over the wedding band. "I don't want to make you choose."

"Then what is going on?" Blaine pleaded. "Something is, I know it."

"It's my issue, I'll deal with it."

"Why can't _we_ deal with it?"

"Because... because Ben needs you in his corner."

"Fine," Blaine said, pulling his hand free from Kurt's.

"Blaine..."

"I've got work to do."

"Don't..." Kurt started but Blaine ignored him and left. When he was alone he sank back onto the couch, leant his head against the back and let the tears slide quietly down his cheeks.

 

*

 

It was early when Kurt woke up, although to say he woke up would suggest that he'd slept for any real length of time. For the last few days it had been hard to sleep and he was now at the point where exhaustion was taking over most nights.

He shuffled out of his room, covering his mouth as he yawned. In the kitchen he turned on the coffee maker before he moved back into the family room and placed a hand on Blaine's shoulder.

"'m 'wake," he muttered.

"Coffee's on," Kurt said. "I'm going to go get ready."

"Thanks."

Blaine watched as Kurt left the family room, crossing the hallway to their room. Once the door was shut Blaine pushed off the blanket and rolled it up with the pillows. Once they were stored away in the hall closet he went into the kitchen and poured two mugs of coffee. He left Kurt's on the side, passing him in the hallway as he went into their room to shower and get ready.

When he came out Kurt would have breakfast underway just in time for the kids getting up and the pair of them would fuss over them, make sure they got ready, exchange chaste kisses on cheeks before heading off to school.

At least they were able to give the impression of being happily married.

 

*

 

Blaine looked up from his lunch as his colleague Amy walked in. "Hey," he greeted.

"Hey yourself, Romantic," she replied, slipping into the chair opposite him.

"Everything OK? Ben behaving himself?"

"He's fine," she laughed. "For the most part."

"Most part?" Blaine asked.

"Things OK at home?"

"Yeah, why?"

Amy just looked at him.

"Amy..."

"Look, tell me if I'm prying..."

"You're prying."

"But he's clearly not happy about something."

"Since when is Ben happy about everything?" Blaine challenged. "We're just getting used to not being under the watchful eye of the City, maybe that's it..."

Amy sighed. "This is me, Romantic."

Blaine raised his eyebrow. "When are you going to stop calling me that?"

"When I get a new nickname for you. Right now I'd go with... Storyteller."

"What?"

"Things are not fine, Blaine. You and I know it. We have been around kids long enough to know when things are not fine at home. And I have known you long enough to know when things are fine and when they're not. So how about you stop telling me fiction and start with the fact."

"It's nothing, really. Just... a rough patch. Everyone has them, right?"

"How rough?" Amy asked.

"Are you asking as my friend, my colleague or my son's teacher?"

"All three? But let's start with a friend first and go from there."

"It's just harder, dealing with two kids rather than one. Especially if one of those kids is Ben."

"Ben is lovely and it's clear he adores you. He's working hard, he's getting support... What about Kurt?"

"Kurt always works hard," Blaine quips.

"And Romantic resorts to a joke so I know something is bad."

"I'm sleeping on the couch," Blaine said quickly.

"Fuck," Amy muttered under her breath.

"Kurt and Ben... they're not getting on. I don't know what it is but it's something and he's refusing to talk to me about it."

"Ben isn't?"

"Kurt."

"Why not?"

"I don't know. But it's something. Burt and Carole were over last week with my parents. Kurt talked a lot with his dad, like _a lot_. Stuff I never got to hear about, stuff that always happened when I was somewhere else. And if it weren't for the fact that there's this... distance... And I'm losing him, I know it."

"You don't know that, Rom—"

"Don't call me that and I do know it," Blaine snapped.

"OK, I'm sorry."

"I know Kurt, I know him as well as I know myself. I... run, Kurt shuts down. He knows when things are not right and instead of doing what he should do he shuts down. He knows that we're..."

"But he's not doing anything and you've run away to the couch. And there was me thinking you'd figured stuff out after Vegas."

"What can I do if he's shutting me out?"

"Call Kurt's dad, ask him."

"You think I've not thought of that?" Blaine asked. "But that's... I don't know. A step too far? Burt and I get along great and I don't want to make him feel like he's choosing between us."

"This is the guy who calls you his son, right?" Amy asked. "His step-son is his son, his son-in-law is his son... And you think he won't answer a question?"

"What if there's nothing to answer?" Blaine said quietly. "What if he just can't... bond with Ben? One of those things? Nothing going on, nothing being kept from me, nothing..."

"Stop, stop, stop," Amy said quickly. "What does your instinct tell you?"

"...That he's hiding something. That Burt knows and neither of them are telling me. He's keeping Ben at arm's length and he's pushing me away and I don't know why."

"You know more than that, Blaine, keep thinking."

"I know..." He sighed before continuing. "I know that he thinks he's doing the right thing. I know he loves me and I know that this is killing him. I know he hates me being on the couch."

"He wanted Ben to come and live with you, it was his choice wasn't it?"

"I know he wants us to be a family."

"So what's stopping him?"

"That I don't know."

"Then that's what you need to figure out, Romantic," Amy said, grinning as she got the well-used glare. "Because it's going to get to the point where it won't matter how much you and Kurt love each other, the damage will be permanent."

 

*

 

Kurt loved the walk home from the subway. It gave him time in the fresh air, time to clear his head and think. Recently it had given him time to put his 'game face' on. Time to prepare himself to face the house, the kids, everything.

He hated it.

He hated what the house had become – just that. It wasn't a home anymore, it wasn't _theirs_ any more. It was a place where they ate, slept, and life went on around them. They looked after their kids; made sure they did their homework, ate right, brushed their teeth and went to bed at a reasonable hour.

As soon as they'd seen the place the four of them had just known it was theirs. The rooms upstairs had been quickly claimed by the kids, no arguments over which was whose. The oversized bathroom with a bathtub and shower unit that was easy for them to share and for the parents to commandeer on occasion. So much space for them to share and grow into, take over and fill with laughter and love.

And a husband sleeping on the couch.

He knew how much Blaine wanted to talk, wanted to know exactly what was going on in his mind. And he wanted to tell him, he hated not being able to share something with Blaine. But it was necessary. He had to do this. He'd been hurt once before. He'd trusted once before in change and promises and he'd paid the price for it. He knew Ben was trying, he knew that he was making progress and that had to be a good thing. It _was_ a good thing, of course it was. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad when things...

Maybe Ben wouldn't be as bad as Dave.

And maybe this time he'd be able to deal with the fallout.

He climbed the steps to the front door, slipping his key into the lock. The door was pushed open and shut behind him before he noticed them. Well, tripped over them would have been more accurate.

Two packed suitcases.

Blaine's suitcases.


	3. Chapter 3

"Kurt?"

He blinked heavily and looked up, seeing Ben peering down at him.

"You OK?" Ben asked.

"I..." he started but stopped when he felt the scratch of his dry throat.

"How long have you been sitting there?"

 _Sitting? What?_ Kurt looked around and seemed surprised to find he was indeed sitting on the stairs.

"Do I need to call Blaine?" Ben asked.

"What would be the point?"

"What?"

"He's leaving." Kurt nodded and Ben followed his line of sight to the cases. "I screwed up."

"Has he left yet?"

"As good as..."

"Kurt," Ben said firmly. "Has he left yet?"

"...No."

"Then there's still time to fix this. Assuming you want to."

"Why wouldn't I...?"

"Because he's been sleeping on the couch for the last week and you haven't done a fucking thing about that. Because you haven't talked to him about whatever shit you have going on in that head of yours and you are pushing him away. So are you honestly surprised at this?"

"I never thought he'd run again," Kurt said quietly.

"And I thought you stopped shutting people out, stopped shutting down. Blaine told me all about you when he was trying to convince me that you'd be a good dad. He wanted to let me know that people change."

"But they don't, not really."

"Bullshit," Ben snapped. "If people never changed then the human race would have been fucked a long time ago. My therapist told me that change is hard but if you want it bad enough then it's possible. Anything is possible. For fuck's sake, you and Blaine grew up down the road from each other, went to college on opposite coasts and randomly ran into each other in Vegas. A drunken wedding and _then_ you fell in love.

"And you guys, you work. You really work. You stopped shutting down and he stopped running... You changed. I'm changing. I hope."

"He's still running."

"Kurt, stop. Just... stop. Do you want him to go?"

"Of course not," Kurt said quietly.

"Then make sure he doesn't."

"What? Unpack and beg him to change his mind?"

"...Don't hate me," Ben said quietly.

"What?"

"Well, don't hate me more than you do already..."

"What? I don't... Why would I hate you?"

"...BecauseIpackedthebagsnotBlaine."

"What?"

"Because... I... packed..." Ben repeated slowly.

"Why would you do that?" Kurt snapped, pushing to his feet. "I thought..."

"Yeah, you did. You thought he was leaving you and what did that make you feel?" When Kurt said nothing Ben continued. "And that is what's going to happen. Not today but one day. You know it. I know it. And he's staying for us and he's trying for all of us and it's not enough because right now you aren't fighting with him. He is the best thing to have happened to all of us and you are going to fuck all of this up because you don't want me here."

"Ben..."

"Look, it's fine. I was always that kid you know? The one who never got picked, the one left out because I don't fit in. And for a bit I got to. I looked into this, I can go back. Be a bit weird seeing as we got through the probation period but we can say I did some epic shit like trashed my room. You were worried about my violent streak or whatever.

"I have loved being here with you guys and I have loved being part of a family. But I refuse to be responsible for..."

"Stop," Kurt said quickly, pulling Ben into a hug. It was only when the boy was settled in his arms that he realised this was the first time he'd properly held him. "Just... stop."

"He was the first guy to actually give me a chance. And I won't fuck up his life," Ben muttered into Kurt's shoulder.

"You're not. I'm the one... Fuck," Kurt swore softly.

"Language," Ben quipped with a soft laugh. "Blaine hates that stuff."

"He's not here."

"But he needs to be."

Kurt pulled back to look at this kid. Fourteen years old, his son, and smarter than he ever gave him credit. "How long have you known?"

"Since the start. I spent a long time watching people, figuring them out. I knew who was interested in me and who was just doing their job. Like I knew Blaine was actually interested and he... Besides, he gets this crick in his neck when he falls asleep on the couch watching trashy late night TV and he's had it for days now."

"He does watch some absolute drivel," Kurt laughed.

"But we love him anyway," Ben said immediately.

Kurt smiled. "Yeah, we do."

"So. Got any ideas?"

"This was your grand plan, shocking me into doing something. You mean you only thought it part way through? Benjamin, I am disappointed in you."

"Rachel's got the night off. Amelia and I go stay there, you do dinner for Blaine. It's Friday night, you can share a bottle of wine or some beers and you can talk or do whatever it is you guys need to do to fix this shit. And on Monday we can call..."

"Stop, stop..." Kurt said quickly. "Let's deal with tonight first, yeah? Where's your sister?"

"...At Rachel's. I asked her to pick Princess up, that OK?"

Kurt laughed and raised his hand, tapping the palm against Ben's cheek. "It's fine, kid. Go grab your stuff."

Ben started up the stairs, stopping and turning back. "Kurt? Don't fuck this up."

"I don't plan to."

 

*

 

**Kurt Anderson (ICE)  
** 4:05pm  
Dinner will be ready for 6. K x 

****

 

**Kurt Anderson (ICE)  
** 4:30pm  
Red or white wine with dinner? I'm doing chicken so either would work. I've got bottles of your favorites, the white is chilling but do I need to let the red breathe? 

****

 

**Kurt Anderson (ICE)  
** 4:45pm  
Assume you're caught up in end-of-week work. Let's go with the white, yeah? I know red can give you a headache. 

****

 

**Kurt Anderson (ICE)  
** 4:48pm  
I know you stay late when you're busy but can you get away? This time of the night it'll take you almost 40 minutes to get back. 6pm on the table. K x 

****

 

**Kurt Anderson (ICE)  
** 5:20pm  
This is your 40 minute warning! Travel safe. K x 

****

 

**Kurt Anderson (ICE)  
** 5:21pm  
Don't stop to get anything. I have everything we need. K x 

****

 

**Ben Anderson  
** 5:22pm  
even if K burns the chicken play nice. he is trying. 

****

 

**Eliza Anderson (Mom)  
** 5:25pm  
So your father and I were wondering if you were bringing the kids to Ohio this summer? We have plans for some of the holidays but we'd love to see you. You can also have the house if you want? 

****

 

**Rachel Berry  
** 5:37pm  
You realize that I only know how to cook vegan? I hope you know what you're getting into. 

****

 

**Kurt Anderson (ICE)  
** 5:40pm  
Are you on your way? Not heard from you yet! K x 

****

 

**Ben Anderson  
** 5:55pm  
Princess wants a burger. gonna spring her and run off to diner. don't call cops. 

****

 

**Ben Anderson  
** 5:56pm  
didn't even make it to the door. I think jail is easier to break out of. 

****

 

**Rachel Berry  
** 5:57pm  
If I duct tape Ben to the floor you won't report me will you? I'm sure it could be considered a public service. Amelia agrees if that helps. 

****

 

**Kurt Anderson (ICE)  
** 6:05pm  
Text me as soon as you're off the subway. Get a cab. K x 

****

 

**Kurt Anderson (ICE)  
** 6:30pm  
Where are you? I'm keeping it warm for you. K x 

****

 

**Kurt Anderson (ICE)  
** 6:31pm  
Not a euphemism I swear! Dinner! x 

****

 

**Kurt Anderson (ICE)  
** 7:12pm  
You could have at least told me you weren't coming home. 

 

*

 

"Don't you have a home to get to?" Amy asked as she slid into the seat across from Blaine. She peered into his mug and sighed when she saw it was empty. "It's Friday night and you're hiding in a coffee shop grading tests. Explain, Romantic."

"Not sure I can face going home," Blaine sighed. His phone beeped again and he just glanced at the screen to confirm that it was Kurt.

"Or talking to your husband," Amy sighed. "Things that bad?"

"I just can't pretend any more. It's exhausting."

"So what? Leave it late enough the kids will be in bed and you and Kurt can act like roommates?"

"I don't want to leave him if that's what you mean."

"Waiting for him to leave you?"

Blaine gave a short laugh. "That's not him. He shuts down and doesn't leave when he should."

"So what do you do?"

"I... run."

"So why haven't you?" Amy asked. "Don't tell me you're staying for the sake of the kids otherwise your new nickname is cliché."

"Because I love him."

"So much so that you're sitting in a coffee shop at..." She checked her watch. "Ten to eight, ignoring his texts."

"It's just dinner," Blaine said. "There will be others."

"Maybe not given the way you're going."

"Amy..."

"I'm serious, Blaine. You keep skipping out on things like this and suddenly they won't be there any more. You'll push him away because you two won't talk to each other."

Blaine opened his mouth to say something when his phone beeped again.

 

**Ben Anderson  
** 7:51pm  
WTF? K just called Rachel. Y are u not at dinner?! 

 

Blaine stared at the new message and hit the call button. "Ben?"

"The fuck, Blaine?" Ben said, ignoring Rachel in the background as she chided him. "Kurt's made dinner for you two, Princess and I are with Rachel for the night. And you don't bother fucking turning up? Fine. Get a divorce. Sleep on the couch for the rest of your life. You clearly don't give a fuck about anyone else in this family and _no I will not stop swearing because Blaine is being fucking stupid!_ "

"Ben!" Blaine yelled to get his attention. "What do you mean you and Amelia are at Rachel's?"

"So you didn't have a PG-13 rated night you idiot," Ben snapped. "So. Who died or got arrested to make you stand Kurt up?"

"I'm leaving now."

"Not sure what state dinner will be in but whatever. See if you can buy him a McQueen scarf or somethin' as an apology 'cause he's trying and you're being an ass. And not the kind of ass you should be for your hubby."

" _Benjamin!_ " Blaine heard Rachel exclaim in the background and a giggle that was unmistakeably Amelia.

His heart seemed to clench a little at the thought of not having them, not being a part of their lives. Of not being a family. And being a family wasn't just about the kids. It was about him and Kurt and if there was a chance, if there was a way to fix this then he had to try.

"Go home, Blaine," Ben said firmly.

"I'm leaving now. Thanks, kid."

"You can repay me by extending my curfew and raising my allowance," he replied before hanging up.

When Blaine looked at the table Amy had already packed away his work.

"Go get him, Romantic," she said. "Don't let something this stupid ruin what you have. At least my ex cheated on me and was generally a bastard. Kurt's one of the good guys, as are you."

"Let's hope he still thinks that when I'm two hours late for dinner."

 

*

 

The house was quiet when Blaine slipped inside, the only sound in his ears was the cab pulling away down the street. He dropped his bag in the hall and headed straight for the family room, his breath stilling when he saw the scene.

The table was set, candles burnt down before they'd been blown out. Plates and wine glasses still in place with the good china set they'd bought not long after they'd got married. The bottle of white sat in the chiller in the middle of serving bowls which held potatoes and vegetables. The chicken was on the side.

And Kurt. Kurt who had always been beautiful to him was on the couch, curled up with a blanket over him, fast asleep. Blaine's breathing, which had been slowly righting itself, stilled again when he knew, when he realised that the only reason he would be asleep on the couch just after eight was if he'd cried himself to sleep.

Kurt had tried. He'd reached out and tried and he'd made an effort to save their marriage. Dinner, drinks and talking. The pattern they had fallen into right from Vegas. They ate, they drank and they talked. Dinner, wine... How had he not known that from the texts? How had he not realised that he was trying?

"Kurt..." he breathed, moving over to the couch. He sat on the edge of the coffee table and he reached out, gently tracing his fingers down the curve of his husband's jaw.

Immediately Kurt bolted awake, sitting up so quickly that Blaine had to pull his hand back sharply so as not to poke his eye out.

"I'm so sorry," Blaine said. "I should have... If I'd known..."

Kurt fixed his eyes on Blaine's and watched for a long moment. "If you had known, would you...?"

"Have been here before six," Blaine said quickly. "I'd have come as soon as I got your first text."

"Really?" Kurt's voice was full of hope.

"Really," Blaine said softly.

Acting on instinct he reached out, pulling Kurt into his arms. There was a few seconds of tension but Kurt soon relaxed into it, holding on as tight as he could.

How long had it been since they'd held each other? How long had it been since there was physical contact between them that wasn't done for show, devoid of any true sentiment?

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." Blaine muttered over and over, his hands roaming over his back, up the curve of his neck to the base of his skull where fingers threaded through the short hair. "God, Kurt..."

"It's OK, it's just dinner," Kurt replied, his arms tightening around Blaine's neck to hold him close. "I'm sorry too."

"I love you," Blaine said, making sure his voice was clear.

Kurt's hold loosened and he pushed Blaine back to look at him. "Really?" he asked.

"Of course," he said. "I love you."

The breath Kurt let out was one of utmost relief. "I love you too."

 

*

 

They stayed like that for five minutes, fifteen minutes, an hour. They didn't know, they didn't care. Whispered apologies (lots of "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry") and promises (variations on "I am never shutting you out again") and simple, honest statements.

_I love you._

_I want to fix this._

Blaine helped Kurt clear away dinner. "It looks amazing," he said. "I'm..."

"No more apologies," Kurt said. "We move on. Deal?"

"Deal," Blaine smiled. "But we still need to eat."

"Take out?" Kurt offered. "Few beers... Worked in the past."

 

*

 

They ordered from their (new) favourite place and sat, eating from cartons, sharing bites and drinking beer from the bottle.

"I thought you were leaving me," Kurt said quietly. "I thought I'd pushed you away for good."

"I thought you were shutting me out," Blaine replied. "I thought you'd... I thought we'd changed."

"We have," Kurt said. "You ran to the couch instead... That's got to count for something, right? Because we can change. If we want to."

There was a note of hope in Kurt's voice which caught Blaine's attention, like there was more to that statement than there seemed.

"Something Ben said to me tonight. He said that change is possible and... I want to believe that. I do. But I was so fixed on Ben changing that I forgot I... we... We changed, didn't we?"

"Up until a few weeks ago I'd have said yeah, but... No, yeah, we did," Blaine said.

"You remember that guy I told you about from High School? Dave?" When Blaine nodded he continued. "He... After he... in the locker room..."

"Yeah?" Blaine prompted, eager to move the story on to save Kurt. He'd talked about this once, a few months before the wedding. They'd spent a night drinking and divulging secrets and stories and Kurt had talked about the bullying.

"Finn and everyone, they were great. They never knew what he did but they protected me all the same. He couldn't get to me, he couldn't get near me and so he... left me alone. And at the time I didn't care, I never thought about it. He was gone and that was all I cared about. When he transferred out senior year it really was over.

"But Lima is a small town. You hear. Especially something like that. It was a couple of months in, about November? He'd gone out one night to a gay bar, I don't know if he'd gone in or he was trying to work up the nerve to... I don't know. But there was another guy and he got in a fight. A serious fight.

"He'd convinced everyone that he'd changed, that he wasn't the violent and terrifying guy he'd been in High School. But he wasn't. And one day... he just snapped. He put the guy in hospital for a couple of weeks and ended up in juvie.

"He wrote to me, few weeks after. He didn't get to be who he was, he tried but... And it ruined his life. He had everything, college scholarship for football, a future in which he could have been honest about who he was and wouldn't have to be scared or hide. And I don't know, maybe I'd have been able to help?

"And Ben... He is who he is. His anger, his temper, it's a part of him. He's been angry for so long that he doesn't know how to be anything else."

"You're equating Dave's sexuality to Ben's anger issues?" Blaine asked.

"It's not that," Kurt said. "It's... Ben has been angry for most of his life. Dave was angry and violent for so long. He couldn't change and..."

"And you were worried that Ben wouldn't be able to change," Blaine finished, taking a mouthful of beer. "That what? One day...?"

"And we'd have to pick up the pieces. You and Amelia? You'd be devastated. And you'd need me. To be here. Be strong."

"Kurt..."

"I've been waiting for him..."

"To slip up?" Blaine said quietly. He reached out and put his hand over Kurt's, enjoying the simple, honest contact between them.

"If it all went wrong... If we lost him..." Kurt's voice waivered and he took a deep breath. "Watching everything fall apart around Dave, his dad, his friends... And it hurt me too. I couldn't let that happen to our family."

"Exactly, Kurt. Our family. And what happened... it's not the same. Ben's getting help. Proper help. And he has never been anything but honest about who and what he is."

"I know," Kurt said.

"What is it? What else is there?"

"He told me. He said that he was going to let you down. He said that he would... He would screw this up. Of course his language choice was a little more colourful, but that was the gist."

"When did he say this?"

"At the school that day."

"The day you said we were taking him home? Why would you say that if..."

"Because he said you were the first person to give him a chance and he didn't want to let you down. He knew he would and he didn't know if he could be kept in line. And I thought 'I can do that'. I can keep this together. He has you for heart and me for head and that was it. What he needed from me was for me to be... detached. Focused."

"He needs you to be his dad," Blaine said. "He needs both of us for that."

"I thought I was doing right by him. I thought... I wanted to do right by all of you and I fucked it up. I pushed you away and Ben was pretty much ready to walk out, go back to the home because he thought he was the one screwing this up."

"What?" Blaine spluttered.

"I'm not letting him go, if that's what you're worried about," Kurt said quickly. "This is my mess and I am going to sort it out."

"No," Blaine said softly. "No, this is _our_ mess. And we are going to sort it out."

Kurt looked up at Blaine and smiled softly. "I love you."

"I love you too. And I'm sorry if I ever made you doubt it. And between us, we can do this. We can be a family and we can help Ben. He is the way he is because of his family and all it takes..."

"He's you," Kurt said quickly.

"What?"

"He's you. That's why you... attached to him. His family, your family..."

"We got broken," Blaine said.

"I never should have said what I said. I'm sorry."

"I wasn't easy to love, to get close to. I know, I understand."

"But I got there. I made sure I stuck around and I... I should have done that for Ben. I'm supposed to be his _father_ for fuck's sake."

"You think parents don't make mistakes? Shit, Kurt, we have two kids who would be the first to tell you that parents aren't perfect and then I'd be right behind them. Your dad is amazing, he really is, but you don't need to be him to be a good parent."

"He never would have done any of this."

"No, Burt would have probably got Ben down to the garage and taught him how to strip down an engine. He'd have probably spoken to him man to man and got through to him like that but, sadly, neither of us are your father. Which doesn't mean we can't be good dads."

Kurt sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "I never thought it was going to be this hard."

"It was never going to be easy though."

"Easier though."

"Maybe."

"So... what now?" Kurt asked.

"I don't know."

"I want..."

"What?" Blaine prompted quietly when Kurt tailed off.

"I want you back in our room. I want you off the couch. I'm not saying we should... But I want you back there. If you want."

Blaine pressed his lips together, smiled and nodded. "But... one step at a time, yeah?"

"Yeah," Kurt smiled.

 

*

 

It was awkward even though they were trying to make it anything but. Kurt excused himself and changed in the bathroom, returning to find Blaine with the covers pretty much up to his chin. They lay, side by side on the bed, not touching. After a moment of staring up at the ceiling the laughter bubbled up in Blaine's chest at how _ridiculous_ this all was and then Kurt was laughing and before long they'd rolled over a little, meeting in the middle.

A hand on a cheek, fingers brushing against a chest. Eyes never leaving the other's, mouths curling up in smiles. A foot shifting over, a gentle rub against an ankle.

It was Kurt who made the move, who surged forward and pressed his mouth against Blaine's. The kiss was chaste but hard and Blaine's hand moved over Kurt's waist to the small of his back where he pulled, moving his body an inch or so closer.

"I just..." Kurt whispered when they parted. "I couldn't remember the last time I did that."

"Let's never leave it that long again, OK?"

"OK."

"I meant it, Kurt. I love you. I want to sort this out."

"Me too. On all counts."

"Can I ask you something? Out of genuine curiosity?"

"What?"

"Why tonight? Why now?"

"...Ben," Kurt admitted. "He... gave me a wakeup call that I was losing you."

"What?"

"Yeah," Kurt laughed softly, his fingers tracing Blaine's jaw from ear to chin. "He... packed your bags. I came home and I saw them and I thought..." He took a deep breath and looked down. "I thought you were leaving me."

"You thought I'd just pack my bags and go?" Blaine whispered. "Kurt..."

"It was the shock I needed. He made me realise that I wanted you to stay more than I wanted... more than I wanted to protect you. He reminded me that I should be doing this with you instead of... of shutting down."

"Hey," Blaine whispered, kissing him gently. "We _have_ changed. We have, Kurt. If we hadn't then you wouldn't have let me back in and I certainly wouldn't be here. We are not the same people we were in Vegas or when I first came to New York. We're married, we're parents... People grow..."

"And change? That much?" Kurt asked.

"Wait, didn't half your school Glee club toss you into dumpsters once?"

"That was different."

"How?"

"They just... didn't understand."

"But you helped them get there?" Blaine asked. "So we'll help Ben. He is doing everything he can..."

"I know, I know, love," Kurt said. "I just... I can't help feeling like it's all going to go wrong."

"Why would it?"

"Because..." Kurt whispered, finally looking up to meet Blaine's gentle gaze. "It always does."

 

*

 

"It is safe?" Rachel called out as she let herself and the kids into the house.

"Strictly G-rated," Kurt's voice came from the family room so the three of them followed it. "Have a good night?"

"Never mind us, how was yours?" Ben asked. He looked at the couch and frowned when he saw the blankets over the arm. "You're kiddin' me."

"What?" Kurt asked.

"As soon as he knew he couldn't get back here quick enough," Ben protested, "and he's still on the couch? I thought you wanted to work things out!"

"Ben, sweetie, these things take time," Rachel said quietly, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"I thought it wasn't too late, I thought I hadn't screwed it up beyond repair..."

"You didn't screw up anything," Kurt said firmly.

"Is Dad leaving?" Amelia asked. "I don't want him to go."

"No way, Princess," Ben said. "He's staying. I'm..."

"You're what?" Blaine interrupted, appearing in the doorway. He'd clearly just pulled on his jeans and t shirt, his hair mussed from sleep. "Hey kid," he grinned at Amelia who almost ran to his side and wrapped her arms around him.

"You're here!" she said.

"Of course I am, where else would I be?"

"And you're staying?"

Blaine put an arm across her shoulders but he looked up at Ben. "We all are. We're a family."

"Good," Amelia hummed into his waist. "I love our family."

"So do I," Blaine agreed, still looking at Ben.

Kurt caught Rachel's gaze and in a manner born from years of practice held a silent conversation.

"Come on, Amelia," she said brightly, "let's get your things back in your room."

"But I wanna stay here with Dad and Papa," she protested.

"We're not going anywhere," Kurt said. "And when you come down we can have breakfast?"

"Can we go out?" she asked, eyes widening in hope. "Pancakes?"

Kurt laughed and nodded. "Whatever you want."

Placated Amelia allowed Rachel to lead her upstairs, leaving her fathers and brother alone.

"So?" Ben asked. "Did it work? Are you two at least talking?"

"Yes," Blaine said, "and I'm not on the couch any more if that's what you're worried about."

"But the blankets..."

"Need cleaning," Kurt explained.

"Few things, kid," Blaine said, moving over to Ben. "Firstly, thank you for letting me know what I was missing out on. Secondly, _you packed my bags_?"

"He needed to know!" Ben protested. "If anyone's fucking this up then it's me, he doesn't get to..."

"Language," Blaine reminded.

"Whatever," Ben dismissed. "Ends justifies the means in my book. You two being back together, that's what's important and I will do anything I need to."

"Including leaving?" Blaine asked.

Ben said nothing, just shoved his hands into his pockets and stared at the floor.

"Hey," Blaine said softly, moving so he was standing right next to him. "Look at me." When Ben finally did so he smiled. "None of this is your fault. Kurt and I are pretty capable of fucking—"

"Language," Ben quipped.

"—things up all by ourselves. And that's all it was. We stopped talking and we forgot that we are in this together. And if you thought it was your fault or your responsibility at any point then I am so, so sorry."

"Why?"

"Because I'm your dad. Because it is my job, our job, to make sure that the only thing you need to worry about is school and grades."

"But you were fighting about me..."

"But that's not your fault," Kurt added. "It's mine. I know I've not been... fair to you, and I'm sorry. I know you're trying and I know that you won't hurt us."

"I tend to try and not screw up the good things in my life," Ben said. "I don't have many of them."

"You realise we plan to try and change that?" Kurt said with a grin. "This is your home, Ben. And it doesn't matter about the paperwork or titles or whatever. This is your home and we are going to be here for you for as long as you want it."

"Actually, we're going to be here for you even if you don't want it," Blaine corrected.

"Oh god," Ben muttered, "I knew choosing you two for my Exits was going to be all kinds of hell."

"You have no idea," Blaine laughed, reaching out and pulling him into a hug.

"So about my raise and new curfew?" Ben quipped.

"So about the grounding and fines for scaring the life out of me," Kurt quipped in response.

"Call it even?" Ben offered.

Kurt smiled and wrapped his arms around Ben and Blaine. "Even."

 

*

 

This was, on reflection, one of Ben's better plans. It had started off subtly; they would find sunglasses and sunscreen in random places. There had been a beach towel hooked up with the coats. A bucket full of sand in the bath tub. A model plane in the freezer.

Then he got more specific. The home page on their browsers was changed to travel sites, different ones each time.

It became a game between them; Kurt and Blaine would ignore him and carry on as if everything was fine, and Ben would up the ante to make his point.

When they came home after a date night to find that Ben, Amelia, Rachel and Mercedes had spent the night constructing the HOLLYWOOD sign on their dining table they quietly found and booked a beach front holiday home and flights.

Travelling with kids was exhausting so once they arrived in LA they picked up the rental car, got to the house and promptly fell into bed. The next morning started late and lazily, the day ending late and lazily too. They played tourist around some of Blaine's old haunts and spent some much needed quality time as a family.

As the days of their week ticked away Blaine watched Kurt with Ben. True to his word, Kurt was trying. He made a point of spending one-on-one time with Ben, Blaine taking Amelia off for some father-daughter time.

Which really only left one relationship to work on.

 

*

 

It had been a long, long (long) day at Disneyland but when you're in Los Angeles with an eleven year old and a fourteen year old there was no way they weren't going. Amelia had dragged them around most of the rides, pouting when she found out she was a few inches short for all the "cool-looking" rides. And for every ride Ben slipped out of line, took his sister's hand, and led her to one she could get on.

"They yours?" a woman asked Kurt.

"Yeah."

"How do you get them to be like that?" she laughed, nodding over to where her own two, a boy and girl of similar ages, were mid-argument over something.

"All Ben's doing," Kurt laughed. "Some days I swear he loves his sister more than he loves us."

"We're the parents. It's in the job description that they hate us. Right under the paragraph about playing good and bad cops."

"Oh I'm the bad cop, my husband's the good one," Kurt said.

"My sister and her wife are like that," the woman continued. "I try and mix it up, keep them guessing and... _Justin you do not hit your sister!_ "

"Blaine does it better than me. Plus he's a pushover so..."

And then, as if to make his point, they watched Ben and Amelia load Blaine up with any loose items of clothing before they joined a line.

"Are either of them... _yours_?" she asked tentatively.

"What? No, adopted. But they're still ours."

"Oh I know, I wasn't meaning... It's just... Ben, he's so like you."

"Me?" Kurt spluttered. "If anyone he's like Blaine."

"I noticed you guys before," the woman explained. "The two of you, you're the organised ones. You were making sure everyone had everything, sunscreen, the works, he was looking after your girl. I'm a family therapist, occupational habit in that I can't help but notice things," she explained with a soft laugh. "You and Ben, you're the head. Your husband and daughter? They're the heart."

"...Thank you," Kurt said quietly.

"Sorry if I've overstepped. It's just... nice to see. And God knows I'd love someone to tell me something nice about my kids once in a while!"

Kurt looked over to where Justin was holding something just out of reach above his sister's head. "Your daughter's going to be a fighter," he said eventually. "One day she's going to stand up to Justin and then she's going to stand up for herself for the rest of her life."

"Thank you," the woman laughed. "I should go make sure they don't kill each other."

"And I should probably go and rescue the coat stand that is my husband," Kurt replied. "Lovely talking to you...?"

"Katie," she replied. "And my coat stand and referee over there is my husband, Marco."

Kurt paused for a moment before smiling. "I'm Kurt. Kurt Anderson."

Katie paused for a moment of her own before peering over at Blaine under the California sun. Then she laughed and pulled Kurt into a hug before returning to her husband and kids.

"What?" Blaine asked as Kurt joined him.

"Nothing," Kurt smiled, kissing Blaine's cheek. "Just... marvelling at how things work out sometimes."

"You sound like you've had a revelation."

"Yeah, I think I have," Kurt smiled.

 

*

 

Once the kids were finally in bed Kurt joined Blaine out on the veranda with two glasses of wine. Blaine was sitting at the top of the steps, leaning back against the wooden post with his legs outstretched. He looked up and accepted the glass of wine, shifting just enough so Kurt could sit across from him. Their legs rested up against each other and they sat in silence, listening to the sound of the waves crashing on the nearby beach.

"Makes you almost want to never go back?" Kurt ventured as he watched Blaine sip at the chilled wine, rest his head back against the post and let his eyes drift shut.

"I spent a long time in LA," Blaine said without opening his eyes, "but it's not home. It's never really ever been home. I love it, I do, and I miss it sometimes. Mainly the weather," he added with a laugh, "but I never belonged here. That's only ever been one place." He opened his eyes to look at Kurt. The corners of his mouth curled up only a little but his eyes smiled brightly. "Everything I want is in New York. Well, it's here right now, but home? That's there."

"Home," Kurt repeated, turning the word over in his mouth. "I remember you moving in, and how on the surface it seemed like the most insane thing to do. I'd known you for a week, we'd been back together for all of five minutes, but I knew that I wanted you there. I wanted you there when I woke up every morning for the rest of my life.

"And, aside from the night before the wedding, I got what I wanted. I got you and me making those two apartments, that house, feel like home.

"But then I wasn't waking up next to you and it wasn't a home anymore. It was just somewhere four people lived."

"And now?" Blaine asked.

"Now... sometimes, yeah, it's a home."

Blaine set his glass down behind him, well out of reach, and turned back to Kurt. "C'mere," he said, holding out his hand.

Kurt set his own glass down and took Blaine's offered hand in his – his left hand. Blaine's thumb ran across the wedding band, tracing the tiny lines that formed the patterns across the metal. They'd come up with the design relatively quickly after Blaine had seen Kurt doodling while they looked through ring catalogues.

It seemed random but once you paid attention, once it was explained, you noticed that every line crossed every other one at some point. And two of those lines drifted closer meeting once before parting, then coming back together, forming a deeper line that ran around the rest of the curve.

Fate lines.

"Kurt," Blaine said softly, pulling on his hand.

Without hesitation or resistance Kurt allowed himself to be pulled over to Blaine, their lips meeting in a kiss. It deepened quickly and soon Kurt was straddling Blaine, keeping his body raised to fight the temptation that was building in his stomach. This was the most intimate they had been for a long time and he didn't want to push it, take it too far.

So he just held Blaine's face in his hands and explored familiar territory with his tongue. Blaine's hands moved to his back, resting on his spine and the hollow at the base for a moment before he decisively slid them down further, over the curve of his ass, fingers brushing against the soft cotton of his pants.

Kurt gasped softly as Blaine unmistakably pulled him down into his lap, pulling Kurt in closer, pulling him up against his chest, his hips. And this, this is what they had been missing, this was what they had both been craving, an itch under their skin they were afraid to scratch because of what it might do to a fragile relationship.

With a low groan Kurt rolled in and down, eliciting the same response from Blaine whose hands were now in the back pockets on Kurt's pants, keeping his grip. Kurt was unable to move his arms and hands due to Blaine's grip on him so he just pushed them over Blaine's shoulders, wrapping around his neck and holding his head in close.

"Blaine," Kurt said against (into) his mouth. "Blaine..." When Blaine had stopped long enough to let Kurt pull back he took a deep breath. "This... we..."

Sensing that this wasn't just a fear about this being too much, too soon, Blaine stopped and let Kurt gather his thoughts.

"I didn't, I mean, I haven't... Oh god," he laughed, kissing Blaine softly. "I want this so much, I've missed you."

"I've missed you too," Blaine said.

"I never thought we'd... I haven't brought anything," he managed to say.

"Kurt..."

"I just, I know we can... But I wanted... hoped..."

"Kurt..."

"There's the store ten minutes away, I can..."

"Kurt!" Blaine said sharply but with affection. "It's OK."

"I'm sorry, I'm rushing this aren't I?"

"Kurt."

Finally Kurt realised that Blaine was trying to get his attention and he stopped, biting on his lip to keep another outpouring from happening.

"I said, _it's OK_ ," Blaine repeated, raising his eyebrows.

"I... oh."

"Yeah. Oh."

"You thought..."

"Hoped?"

"Hoped we'd..."

"This vacation wasn't just about you and Ben," Blaine smiled. "I miss my husband. I miss my best friend and I miss how close we were. And not just... like this," he said, running his hands down Kurt's arms. "But I do miss this."

"Me too," Kurt whispered, kissing Blaine's mouth and then along his jaw. "Can't believe it's been this long..."

"Kurt," Blaine almost whined as he started kissing down his neck.

"Want me to stop?" Kurt asked, a hint of innocent mischief in his voice.

"Fuck no," Blaine laughed, "but... we should..."

"Oh. Right. Yes," Kurt said as he pulled away from Blaine's body. "Bed."

"Bed," Blaine repeated.

 

*

 

Kurt checked on the kids (they were supposed to be mature and responsible adults, they were parents for fuck's sake, so they should really decide stuff without resorting to rock-paper-scissors) and made sure that they were both still out for the count, dead to the world. Satisfied that they weren't about to get up and wander through the house any time soon Kurt tried not to _race_ to the bedroom.

Blaine wasn't there – but his clothes were – and he heard the shower running in the en suite. For a second he debated his next move before noticing that the door had been left open. Blaine did that for one reason and one reason only. So, grinning to himself, Kurt stripped quickly and stepped into the room.

The hot water had been running for a while and the small room was already filling with steam. The tiles were still cool under his feet and he quickly moved around the glass pane into the open shower. His arms slid around Blaine's waist, a hot kiss was placed on his shoulder, and then Blaine turned around and Kurt was _home_. Skin to skin contact for the first time in what felt like forever and Blaine was grateful that he was no longer a hormonal teenager otherwise this would have been over far too quickly.

They took their time, fingers tracing lines that were softening a little with age but still defined enough to send that thrill up their spine. Would always send a thrill up their spine.

"I'm sorry," Kurt mouthed against Blaine's neck. "I'm..."

"Not just your fault," Blaine said before kissing him firmly. "But it's done with."

"We... need... to... talk..." Kurt managed to gasp out as Blaine's mouth started to work its way down his chest.

"Later," Blaine said, moving back up and somehow managing to make Kurt feel like he was being towered over. "We'll talk later, I promise."

"OK," Kurt breathed.

 

*

 

They'd been tempted to stay in the shower, to rut up against each other and use hands and mouths to get the other off, but there was more to this night, to them, than that. So they'd dried each other off and moved back into the bedroom.

Kurt was acting like he never wanted Blaine to be out of reach and that was more than fine with him. So Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist and pulled him in and up but it wasn't long before gravity took over and the pair of them fell, giggling softly, onto the bed.

"I want you," Blaine whispered into Kurt's ear.

"I want you too," Kurt replied.

"I'm yours."

"I'm not pushing you away."

Blaine laughed softly. "We should draw up a schedule or get a coin or something. We always end up... disagreeing over this."

"It was you that first night together," Kurt said, peppering kisses along Blaine's jaw. "It was you when we started this, again, for good. It was you when you showed me that I didn't need to be in control all the time. It was you on our wedding night."

"Kurt..."

"It's you," he said softly. "It has always been you and I want it to always be you." As if to make his point, Kurt's hand slid down between them, his talented fingers wrapping around Blaine's erection.

"Kurt," Blaine almost gasped. "This is not fair... I have my own reasons..."

"Yeah?" he teased. "Like what?" His grip became firmer, wrist twisting a little.

"Fuck you," Blaine growled.

"Yes please," Kurt grinned.

"But I want you in control."

"Deal. But first..."

He'd been thinking about this for a long time. Ever since Blaine had moved back into their room it had been playing on his mind but he'd taken his cues from his husband and they'd gone no further than simple touches and kisses.

Sleeping in the same bed as him, being close but not close enough, prompted too many thoughts. Thoughts that formed into a plan and a plan that Kurt had a chance to put into action.

Firm hands kept Blaine on his back while Kurt's kisses moved from his jaw to his chest. He felt Blaine's fingers thread through his hair as he placed a kiss over the left nipple before sticking his tongue out. After a teasing swipe over the nub he breathed softly on the skin, smiling when Blaine groaned softly.

_Still sensitive. Still his._

"Are you planning on blowing me any time tonight?" Blaine asked, his voice low and suggestive.

"Excuse me?"

"Seeing as, y'know, you're heading down there..."

Kurt looked up and caught Blaine's eye before dropping his gaze to the cocky grin. "Seeing as I'm down here?" he repeated mockingly. "Do not upset me, Anderson. The damage I can do..."

To illustrate his point he pressed firmly on Blaine's erection, eliciting a gasp.

"If you want me to just get on with it then I can," Kurt continued, his voice low and dangerous, "but if you want to shut up..."

"Fine, fine, whatever," Blaine hissed. "I'm sorry. Please... continue..."

Kurt laughed softly and kissed down to his stomach, dipping his tongue into Blaine's navel. As his mouth paid attention to his hip bones, Kurt's hand drifted to the inside of Blaine's thighs, gently stroking the skin. He took his time, running his fingers up to the crease of his hip but never moving further than that.

Underneath him Blaine began to writhe in desperation, trying to seek out some friction or heat or something. None of which Kurt seemed willing to provide any time soon. He tried to ignore his own erection, resisting the urge to just rut into the sheets for relief. (For one they weren't their sheets and it would just be weird having to deal with them.)

"Fuck, Kurt..." Blaine moaned.

"Fine..." Kurt tried his best to sound unwilling but he wanted this just as much and he sank his mouth over Blaine's cock with no hesitation or preamble. Thankfully he was prepared and a firm hand on Blaine's hip stopped him from jerking up too much.

In all his frustrated nights of planning, of imagining how he'd take their first time together, Kurt had pictured this going slowly. He would kiss his way across Blaine's chest and stomach (check) while teasing the insides of his legs (check). He'd use a gentle touch at first, maybe kissing or licking at the tip before working his way to the deep throating he was currently performing.

Blaine had a habit of making Kurt lose control, of throwing out his carefully constructed plans.

He flattened his tongue, inhaled deeply and sunk that little bit lower, hollowing out his cheeks.

"K—Kurt," Blaine stammered, his hands pawing at Kurt's head.

Kurt knew what Blaine was trying to say; he was close, he wasn't going to last.

Kurt didn't care.

Using one hand around the base he moved to the head, sucking and holding place until Blaine's back arched off the bed and he bit back his cries, still aware somewhere in the house their two children were sleeping, and while it would take a lot to wake them it was possible.

"Shit... fuck... Kurt..." Blaine muttered as he came down from his high. "I thought... we... _Fuck_."

"Don't worry," Kurt said in between licking around his mouth to clear it. "That's still the plan. Just... don't want it to be over too quickly."

"Been too long."

"Far too long."

"Gerrup here," Blaine said, making Kurt laugh.

"Call yourself an English teacher?" he asked as he complied. "You'd fail a verbal test."

"Whereas you..." Blaine laughed, pushing Kurt over onto his back. "Your turn."

"Oh, my turn?" he smiled.

Blaine dipped his head for a kiss but didn't reach out to touch Kurt right away. At first Kurt put it down to Blaine still recovering from his orgasm.

When he heard the pop of a cap he knew otherwise.

"Blaine," Kurt mumbled against his mouth. "You need time..."

"We've got all night, love," Blaine whispered into a kiss.

_Love._

Kurt's stomach seemed to tilt, either from the verbal affection, Blaine's mouth sucking on his pulse point, or a hand firm around his erection. Possibly all three.

He wrapped a hand around the back of Blaine's neck, threading fingers up into his curls and held him in place while Blaine moved to his jaw.

"If it's too much, say. I'm not hurting you," Blaine whispered.

"It'll be fine."

"No," Blaine said firmly, sitting up to look at him. "Promise me."

"Yeah. Yes. I promise," Kurt said when he realised that Blaine was serious. "But to clarify... you do mean serious pain? Because..."

Blaine laughed and silenced any further smart comments with a kiss and a deft flick of his wrist. After a few more strokes he let go, finding the open tube of lube and squeezed some onto his fingers.

"Have I mentioned how much I love your foresight?" Kurt muttered as he shifted his legs.

"Not recently," Blaine replied softly as he ran the back of his nail in a line from Kurt's sac to his ass, sliding a lubricated finger between the cheeks. "You promised, remember?"

Kurt nodded and tilted his hips, breathing in deeply when he felt the tip of Blaine's finger against his hole.

It had been too long. Longer than intimate contact, longer than the kisses and contact. He forced himself to breathe through it, relax his body. Blaine seemed to be taking his time too, letting Kurt adjust to the first finger slowly.

"Does you teasing me count as hurting?" Kurt hissed, pushing down on Blaine's hand. "Because seriously, Blaine..."

Blaine laughed softly and kissed him again.

 

*

 

He was slow and considerate, working Kurt open gently but thoroughly. Eventually he had three fingers in, pushing against his prostate with each thrust, Kurt all but fucking himself on Blaine's hand. When Blaine's free hand wrapped around his dick he didn't last much longer; the heat coiling in his belly shot out through every synapse and nerve and he came, hard and in streaks across his chest and Blaine's hand.

"You're pretty good at that," Kurt said breathlessly when he came back to himself.

"Had a good teacher," Blaine said, kissing Kurt's shoulder.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Love of my life."

"That a fact?"

"Yeah," Blaine smiled. "Taught me a few other tricks too."

"Well... give a guy a few minutes and maybe you can show me?"

"A few minutes? Love, we're not teenagers anymore..."

"You make me feel like... nope, can't do it," Kurt laughed, unable to keep a straight face through the cheesy line. "But we are so not done yet..." He forced his sleepy body to co-operate, pushing Blaine over onto his back and straddling his legs. "I have missed this."

"Missed you too," Blaine smiled, his hands running up Kurt's thighs.

"I know that a relationship, our relationship, isn't built around sex but..." Kurt reached down and took Blaine's hands in his, palm to palm and lacing their fingers together. "It means something. It means a lot."

"You know, if it weren't for sex we probably wouldn't be here," Blaine said.

Kurt shot Blaine a glare. "If you're about to start talking about our parents then you are sleeping on the couch."

"Oh god no," Blaine laughed. "Vegas. We got married and if we'd not... We could have just annulled it there and then, gone our separate ways."

"Are you about to make a pitch for it being you?" Kurt laughed. "Because I think you'll find that I have the upper hand here."

"I have missed you. Missed this. Is that... I mean..." Blaine's eyes closed and he took a deep breath. "Let's try that sentence again shall we?" he laughed. "I've missed you. Being this close to you."

"I've missed it too."

"I can't remember... How long has it been?"

"Not as long as it was before New York Coffee," Kurt said.

"That's something," Blaine hummed, pulling on Kurt's arms to bring him down for a kiss.

Kurt pushed his tongue down, exploring Blaine's mouth and reminding himself of familiar territory. Blaine's hands were on the firm planes of his back before one run down his spine, fingertips running over the swell of his ass cheeks before pushing back inside him. It was a little drier than before but there was enough for Blaine to keep him open.

For a moment Kurt just held Blaine's face in his hands before pulling him up into a sitting position, settling himself in Blaine's lap. Two strong arms circled around Kurt's waist before one disappeared. Kurt was too lost in the kiss to register it before he realised his husband was deftly uncapping the lube with one hand and drizzling some liberally on his ass. He gasped as the cool gel was rubbed into his skin before three fingers were back inside him.

Kurt released his own tight hold on Blaine to fumble for the box of condoms, eventually managing to remove one.

"Bit... distracting... love..." Kurt bit out, his body reluctant to pull away from Blaine's hand.

"Sorry."

"No you're not," Kurt laughed.

"No. I'm not."

"Patience, eager one." Kurt's voice was low and suggestive as he shifted back a little and started to roll the condom onto Blaine's erection.

Under Kurt's fingers Blaine shuddered, grateful that he'd already come once because this and the promise and the anticipation were driving him insane.

"You OK?" Kurt asked when he realised that Blaine was barely moving.

"Yeah," Blaine breathed. "I just... I love you."

"I know," Kurt smiled as he shifted a little. "And I love you too."

With practiced teamwork Kurt rose and started to lower himself onto Blaine. Despite all the lube and prep he was still tight and Blaine bit his lip to hold back the cry he wanted to make. It had been so long since it had felt like this and so he forced himself to focus on something other than _tight_ and _hot_ and _here_.

Looking at Kurt, however, didn't help much.

Blaine had always loved watching Kurt during sex, watching the layers of composure and restraint fall away, watching love and lust and pure _desire_ come flooding out of every part of him. Most of the time that was what did it for him – he really did get off on Kurt getting off.

But this, now? So much more. Hazel met glasz and they couldn't look away, they couldn't stop. Their bodies moved unconsciously because all they could think about, all they could see, was the other.

Blaine's hands were on Kurt's waist; grip firm and shifting only slightly as he rose and fell. Kurt's arms were at first over Blaine's shoulders, hands locked behind his head, but then they shifted and once again he held Blaine's face. His thumbs swiped tracks over Blaine's cheeks, down over lips that parted for him and breathed warm and gentle breath sent the millions of nerve endings in Kurt's fingertips on fire.

Because this is who they are. They had forgotten for a little while but now they remembered and they used their bodies in a promise to never do that again. To always remember that they are meant for the other, that their connection is beyond physical and emotional. They were meant to find each other in Vegas and they were meant to fall in love and they were meant for this life together. And they celebrated that in whispered confessions and mouthed declarations and physical connections.

 

*

 

The first thing Blaine was aware of was the first hints of light streaming into the room. The second was the warm body nuzzling against his.

"'m still 'sleep," Blaine muttered but moved his arm so he could wrap it around Kurt.

"M' too," Kurt hummed in reply. "Jus' wanna be close."

Blaine huffed a small laugh and pulled him in. He couldn't deny how good this felt, how much he'd missed it.

"Kids'll be up soon."

"Shhh," Kurt hummed. "Can we just pretend that they don't exist? For an hour?"

"You'd get rid of them that easily?" Blaine teased, smiling as the body pressed up against his shook with silent laughter. "Half an hour."

"Deal."

"So... got plans for this time?"

"Oh, one or two..." Kurt said quietly, his hand skimming down Blaine's stomach.

"Insatiable," Blaine laughed.

"Making up for lost time."

"I can get behind that idea."

Before they could get any further though they were interrupted by a loud crash, a gasp and hushed giggles.

"Sorry!" they heard Amelia squeal.

"Keep it down, Princess," Ben added. "We're going to wake them."

"Be quiet," Amelia continued, her voice a little softer. "What now?"

In the bedroom Kurt and Blaine tried to stifle their own laughter as they slipped out of bed and made themselves decent, pulling on tees and loose pants.

"But I wanna make the coffee," Amelia whined softly.

"You're too little," Ben said affectionately.

"I'm almost as tall as you."

"And until you are as tall as me you don't get to make the coffee."

"Be pretty soon then," she said. "I'm growing all the time."

"So is he, sweetheart," Kurt said as the two of them entered the kitchen. "Sorry but he's always going to be taller."

"Ruin all my fun why don't you," Ben sulked, "and my surprise. You're up early."

"So are you," Blaine countered.

"We wanted to make you guys breakfast in bed," Amelia declared. She gestured to the waiting bowl of fruit and the rack of toast and bagels.

"Her idea," Ben said quietly to Blaine. "I was worried about... interrupting."

Blaine laughed softly and had to look away.

"You guys? You good?" Ben asked suddenly, his voice tinged with concern. "I know things have been bad and I thought this trip would be a good way for you..."

"We're fine," Blaine said. "Really. And... thanks for not... interrupting."

Ben grinned for a moment and then his face screwed up. "OK, TMI. Seriously. Some things you never want to know about your parents."

"If I remember rightly your PG-13 rule only applied to public areas. What happens in the privacy of our room is our business..."

"I am going to be sick," Ben muttered, walking away from Blaine. He wrapped his arms around Amelia and pulled the laughing and squealing girl away from Kurt, the pair of them falling onto the couch in fits of giggles.

For a moment Blaine watched them, his gaze occasionally flitting to Kurt who had started to pick at the fruit on the dividing counter. Then he registered what Ben had said.

_...you never want to know about your parents._

They'd never pushed it, never brought it up. Ben was the best part of four years older than Amelia and it was enough that he was comfortable enough to be a part of the family. He'd become an Anderson partly out of a misplaced desire to fix their marriage but Blaine knew that Amelia had been on at him about being different. She wanted her brother to have the same name as her and had been the happiest of them all when Ben had agreed to the change.

But parental titles? That seemed to be something else. They were "Blaine" and "Kurt". At school Blaine had only heard Ben referring to them collectively as 'my adoptive parents' and 'my Exits'. Had Ben known what he had said or was it a slip of the tongue?

"Earth to Blaine?" Kurt laughed, cutting into his musings. "You OK, love?"

"Yeah," he smiled. "Yeah I'm good. Great even."

He grabbed the hem of Kurt's top and pulled him in close, fitting in to his body the way they always did. To the sound of their children's laughter and the feel of his husband against him Blaine had a single thought.

_When you find someone that you're willing to spend your life with then you need to share your whole life with them. The good bits and the bad bits._

They'd come through some bad bits; arguments and distance, moments when Blaine honestly thought they were heading for divorce for a second time. But this, right here, right now? This had to be the best bit ever.

 

*

 

The rest of the summer played out in stifling heat and family moments. They went back to Ohio, took over the sprawling Anderson home in the absence of Blaine's parents. Grandfather Anderson dropped by to see his great-grandchildren and, after the third pointed comment about "that kind" Ben turned on the old man and gave him a piece of his mind. After Ben's outburst he said nothing, looked at Blaine who was failing at hiding the absolute _pride_ in his son, and then left.

Ben had apologised for two days straight, terrified that he'd just destroyed the Anderson family, but before they left Mr Anderson Sr. came over with an envelope for Blaine and Kurt. "For the kids' college funds," he'd said. Because apparently his great-grandson had all the makings of a lawyer. Or politician. Or something equally impressive so maybe Ben was turning out OK.

(When they finally opened it after having had a few glasses of wine they nearly choked.)

It didn't change things that much, not really. There were still comments and pointed silence around things like their anniversary or Kurt's birthday, but Ben and Amelia were loved and that was enough for them.

The four of them were happy and settled and life should have been as perfect as it gets in this life.

It should have been.


	4. Chapter 4

Blaine was already feeling the strain of being back at work and was starting to wonder how it would be when the kids started back next week. On the plus side, he mused as he mustered the energy to climb up the steps, at least he would have Amelia for company. It would be strange, not having Ben around, dropping in to his classroom during lunch or after school, ostensibly for no reason at all but Blaine knew, he _knew_ that Ben just wanted to spend time with him. Time Blaine was happy to spend with his son.

For a moment he caught himself just outside the door, key only halfway into the lock.

His son. He had a son.

He had a son and a daughter and a husband and a mortgage and a house and a job he loved in a city that was home. He had friends and a life that he adored and was everything that he never knew he wanted. Or needed.

Pulling himself out of his soppy daydream he pushed the key all the way in and turned the lock. Once the door was shut behind him he dropped his messenger bag while he toed off his shoes before hanging up his coat. Then he took the few steps along the hallway to his bedroom door and pushed it open.

Amelia bolted off the bed and had wrapped her arms around his waist before he even had time to think.

"Sweetie?" he managed to say when his brain caught up with himself. This was not right, this was about as wrong as it could get. She'd not clung to him this tightly since that day at the school a lifetime ago. "Amelia, honey?"

She wasn't moving, she wasn't doing anything except clinging to him and when Blaine forced himself to still and wait for her he could feel the tell-tale shakes of quiet tears. He wanted to hold on to her and never let go, he wanted to grab her and shake her and make her tell him exactly what had her hiding away in his room (the bed was covered with her toys and books and the TV was playing her favourite DVD). He wanted to grab his cell from his bag and call Kurt and have support with whatever this was.

Because she had never, never been like this with them.

But she had been. Once upon a time. He knew all about her history, her mom and dad, and his heart hurt with all the possibilities, none of them good.

"Princess," Blaine said softly after a few minutes. "Honey, what...?"

"I had to stay in here," she said, not pulling away from Blaine. "I had to stay in here and wait for you or Papa to come home. Just like before, I had to wait."

"Before?" Blaine asked, his heart sinking. "What's happened? You know you can tell me anything, honey, and you won't be in trouble and I won't get mad."

"Promise?" she asked, finally pulling back to look up at him. "'cause you can't get mad. If you get mad then it will just get worse."

"I promise, baby," Blaine said, loosening her hold so he could squat down to her level. "I won't get mad and we can make it better."

"Cross your heart?" she asked.

"Cross my heart," he smiled, trying not to let his worry show.

He forced a smile onto his face, knowing that it wasn't reaching his eyes and praying silently to whatever or whoever was listening up there that Amelia not only believed him but that whatever she was going to tell him (and please let her tell him) wasn't that bad.

Because if anyone had laid a finger on her, if anyone so much as touched or hurt his kids, then he would...

"It's Ben," Amelia said and Blaine's worry lurched in a whole other direction. "He's upstairs."

 

*

 

Blaine sent two texts after closing the bedroom door behind him. The first was to Kurt ( **SOS. COME HOME NOW** ) the second to Rachel ( **Next time we ask you to look after the kids, check we are home before you just drop them off at the door** ).

They were supposed to be with Rachel. She was supposed to be here but when she'd dropped them off Ben had opened the door, called out, and then said that Blaine was home. So she'd gone and they'd been home alone for the last hour.

Not that Ben wasn't sensible enough to look after Amelia but they weren't irresponsible parents. Hence Rachel. Then Ben had taken Amelia into the master bedroom with all her things and told her to wait there. She didn't know why and she didn't know what was going on, but Ben had made her promise and a promise to her brother was worth everything. But she knew her brother and she knew something was wrong. Something had been wrong since lunchtime but she didn't know what.

Somehow this was worse. Ben was retreating, he was hiding and that was something he'd not done in a long, long time.

Blaine took the stairs one at a time, treading gently on the boards for some unknown reason. It wasn't that he was trying to sneak up on Ben but he didn't know what he was going to walk in on, he didn't know what Ben was doing and he didn't want to give him the opportunity to hide or dispose of something.

Somehow he'd become _that_ parent.

There was no noise as he approached Ben's door and he had an internal debate for a moment before putting his hand on the handle and pushing it open onto chaos.

Ben was sitting in the middle of his destroyed room: books and papers were everywhere; the bedding on the floor and the mattress pulled from the frame; the posters and frames on the wall had been pulled down and it looked like most of the drawers had been emptied.

"Ben..."

" _Get out!_ " Ben yelled, jumping to his feet. " _This is my room and you knock first!_ "

Blaine recoiled a little but stood his ground as Ben turned on him.

"You think you can just come in here as you please?" Ben snapped. "Get the fuck out."

"What happened?"

"What the fuck do you think happened here?" Ben growled, pulling himself up into Blaine's personal space. He'd gained a few inches during the summer and was pretty much level now. "And here I thought you were the smart one. But then again you got involved with me so..."

"Ben, what happened...?"

"What happened?" he mocked. "What happened? What happened? What the fuck do you think happened, Einstein? What was always going to happen. This is who I am, Blaine. This is pure me. I am hell and I am destructive. I nearly fucked up your marriage and now..."

"Stop it," Blaine said firmly. "This is not you."

"You've known me for five minutes. You have no idea who I am, you have no idea where I come from, what I'm like. You think you've changed me, that you and Kurt _rescued_ me like I'm some fucked up cat you found up a tree."

"So what? These are your claws coming out?" Blaine asked.

"Done it before, you know I have."

"Bullshit," Blaine said firmly.

"What? I trashed my room in the home..."

"So where's the hole in the wall? Where's the broken furniture? I see mess, Ben. I just see a hell of a lot of mess."

"Don't fuck..."

"And then there's the language. You know better, you _are_ better. So you're doing this for a reason."

"And you know that for a reason do you?" Ben asked, stepping back and folding his arms.

"Yeah, I do. And it doesn't matter how long I've known you. I _know_ you. I knew Kurt for a few hours and I married him, I knew you for two minutes and I was giving you my cell number. So how about you tell me what is really going on?"

"How about you just save us the bother and just get rid of me?"

"What?"

"We both know it's just a matter of time. Kurt's got these fucking stupid rules and if I break one I go. Simple as. Think this counts."

"No," Blaine said firmly.

"What?"

"No."

"What the _fuck_ do I need to do?"

"More than create a mess and swear and tell me to send you away."

"Stubborn."

"Have to be to deal with you."

"Why do you bother?"

"Because I love you," Blaine said immediately and for a second he saw the look that passed over Ben's face. "I love you," he repeated softly.

"I can't..." Ben said, the anger dropping from his voice. "Blaine, I..."

"I love you," Blaine whispered, reaching out and putting his hands on Ben's shoulders. "And whatever has happened we can deal with it."

"Why would you...?"

"Because you are my son," Blaine said firmly before pulling Ben against him, holding him tightly as he began to sob. For the second time in an hour Blaine was holding his child as they broke down. "You are my kid and I love you," he whispered, "and whatever is going on, whatever the problem is... even if I can't fix it I wanna know. You are not alone in this, in anything anymore."

"I can't..."

"It's OK," Blaine soothed, his hand running up Ben's back to grab at the back of his neck. "It's OK."

"It's not."

"Yeah, it is."

"It's really not," Ben all but sobbed. "It's not going to be OK and I need to go."

"Why?"

"Because..." he said, forcing the words past the lump in his throat. "Because you're not safe if I stay."

"Ben..."

"Dad's getting out. And he'll come for me. I'm his son and he said that he would come and get me when he got out. And I can't be here when that happens."

Anything else was lost in the tears and the gasps, in the whispered words of love from father to son, held tight and not let go.

 

*

 

Eventually they'd sunk to the floor, Blaine still holding on and clutching Ben tightly to his chest. He didn't want to let go and he didn't think Ben wanted to be let go.

"Lauren called at lunch," Ben said eventually. "She told me."

"That your dad is coming to get you?"

"No, he... he told me. It's, like, one of the last things I remember about him. My case worker at the time figured I needed closure so when I asked to see Dad one last time she took me. He promised me that when he got out, whenever that was and wherever I was, he could come and get me. And I'm still in New York, I'm across town from where I grew up, where Dad has lived his whole life... And he will find me."

"He's not allowed near you, you know that?"

"Yeah, and he wasn't allowed to kill Mom but that didn't stop him. He's getting out because some fucking... sorry. Some idiot specialist has said he's got his anger under control, that he wasn't in control of what he was doing. Like that makes everything OK. Like that makes Mom any less dead."

"Why didn't you call me? Or Kurt?"

"...Dunno. Sorry."

"It's fine," Blaine said, shifting his arm a little to brush his fingers across Ben's hair. "Really. You told me, that's what matters."

"I can't have him come here. He won't care..."

" _I care_ ," Blaine said firmly. "OK, let's make something clear from the start. You were in what? Four homes before the one I met you in? And I don't know if it actually registered but you are Ben _Anderson_ now. You are _my_ son and there is no way that _anyone_ is taking you from me."

"And to add to that," came Kurt's voice from the doorway, "if anyone did manage to get you away from us don't think for one moment we won't tear the whole world apart to find you and bring you home. Because you're _our_ son."

"What he said," Blaine laughed. "Unless you want to go. Because..."

"No," Ben said firmly and quickly. "No, I don't..."

"Then you're staying and we will deal with this," Kurt said gently.

"I'm sorry. 'bout the mess."

"It'll clean up," Blaine said. "We'll help."

"I made it..."

"We'll still help," Blaine repeated, pressing a firm kiss against Ben's hairline.

"What if I'm like him?" Ben asked so quietly the pair of them wondered if he'd actually said something. "What if...?"

"You're not," Blaine said.

"How can you know that?"

"Because you told Amelia to wait in our room," Blaine explained. "You did what her mom did to protect her. You made sure she didn't see you like this, you made sure she wasn't triggered. You have never not looked out for her."

"She's my sister," Ben said quietly.

"Yeah, she is," Kurt said. "There is someone in this house, in this life, that you put above you. Always. No matter what it costs you, no matter what you have to do. She comes first for you. That makes you your mom if it makes you anyone. Personally I like to think that makes you you.

"You are not that kid from the home. You are..." Kurt sighed and gave a small laugh. "You're ours. Everything else is negotiable OK? And if you've got a moment then Amelia would really like to give her big brother a hug."

"If that's OK?" Amelia asked, sticking her head around the doorframe.

"It's always OK, Princess," Ben said, pulling himself away from Blaine and holding out his arms.

Amelia was in them within seconds and Blaine took the distraction to push himself to his feet, groaning slightly as his body protested at having sat on the floor for so long. He joined Kurt out on the landing, stepping away from the doorframe before he pulled his husband into a tight hug, burying his face into his shoulder.

"God, Kurt..."

"I know, I know. But we'll be fine. We are all going to be fine."

"He is so scared..."

"I know, love, I know," Kurt said quietly.

"He wants to run. I know what that's like, I know... We can't let him run."

"He might want to but he won't. You didn't."

"What if he..."

"If he runs? Then we find him. You ran and I came after you. We will go after him."

"Still. Might barricade the door all the same," Blaine laughed.

"Never letting him out of your sight?"

"Can you put a tracking chip in your children? We should look into that."

"I think they ruled that unethical, sorry love," Kurt laughed, rubbing a hand up and down Blaine's back. "But we are going to deal with it. Without microchips and GPS though."

"How can you be so calm about this?" Blaine asked, pulling back from the hug to look at him. "Oh," he added when he saw that Kurt's eyes were filling up just the same. "I love you."

"I love you too," Kurt replied with a soft laugh.

"No, I _really_ love you. I just... need to tell you."

"Feel free to tell me more often."

"How are we going to deal with this?"

Kurt gave a small shrug and kissed him gently. "Same way Dad dealt with stuff he didn't fully get. Mostly about me and the whole gay thing. Just got on with it."

"Your dad is amazing," Blaine laughed. "If we are half the parents he is I'll be happy."

"Know what Dad told me when I said we were adopting? 'The trick to parenting is simple. You shut up from time to time and you listen. And then you just be there and you be whoever they need you to be'."

"So we shut up and listen to him?"

"We shut up and listen to him," Kurt repeated. "We be whatever he wants and needs."

"I think he wants to move," Blaine laughed softly. "How about we go back to LA? Think that's for enough away?"

"Europe, Australia, whatever he wants," Kurt laughed. "Although maybe not Australia. I don't have the complexion for it." He pulled Blaine back into a hug and just held on for a little while longer. "We're going to be OK."

"I'm scared of what this means for him. If he's going to..."

"He won't," Kurt said firmly. "And even if he does then we will be here to help him. He's our son, remember. No matter what we are his parents, we love him, and that means total and unconditional support."

"About that," Blaine said, pulling back so he could look at his husband again. "You told him you loved him."

"So?"

"So... that's the first time you said it."

"No," Kurt dismissed quickly. "I... I must have..." But now that he was thinking about it he realised that Blaine was right. "Wow," he breathed, stepping back and leaning on the wall for support. "Guess I'm not the parent my dad is."

"Hey, you're great."

"So great that today was the first day I told my kid I love him."

"So great that today was the day that you made it clear to him where he stands with you. On the day when he needed to know, more than ever, that he is safe here with us, that he is wanted and loved? You told him. And it will have meant something."

"You think?"

"I know," Blaine smiled. "How did it feel when I first told you that I loved you?"

"Like... anything was possible. Everything was possible."

"But you knew. Before I said anything, you knew."

"Yeah," Kurt sighed, his lips curving up into a small smile.

"Then trust me on this. He knows. He knows we love him and he knows that we want him here. Why else would he stage this? Trash his room? Swear at me? Try and push every button that we have because what else is going to make us kick him out? Your conditions and my objections, things we put in place at the start to establish boundaries and rules and his place in this home.

"He knew, Kurt. Whether he realised it or not, he knew before tonight that you love him. And he knew, deep down, that we weren't ever going to let him go."

"Then why did he do this?"

"Because he needed to know for certain," Blaine said. "Why do you think I came back to New York? Why did you wait for me outside that coffee house? Why didn't I go any further than the couch? Because even though we knew, somewhere, that we were in love..."

"We just needed a bit of proof," Kurt finished.

"So like you said. We shut up, we listen, and we be whoever he needs us to be. And we make damn sure that he knows we love him."

 

*

 

"Don't I get a beer?" Ben joked when Blaine dropped onto the couch next to him with two cans; one soft and one decidedly not so. "If ever I had a day that deserved a beer it's today."

"Sure," Blaine said, laughing when Ben nearly gave himself whiplash. "In about six years. First round on your birthday is on me."

"Spoilsport," Ben sulked, taking the can of Diet Coke and cracking it open. "So come on then."

"Come on what?"

"Do the parent thing. The talk."

"Nope. You get to do the talking."

"Oh god. Really?"

"Excited about High School?" Blaine asked.

Ben turned to look at him, slightly slower this time, with a glare on his face. "Seriously? That's the topic of conversation?"

"I can offer up US foreign and domestic policies, potential winners of the Superbowl, or Broadway musicals as alternatives."

"When Dad was sentenced," Ben said quietly, "I asked my social worker to take me to see him. I wanted to say goodbye and that's when he told me... what he said. And in a way it made things easier because I'd convinced myself he was never getting out. The judge said twenty years but you hear about all the stuff that goes on in jail, what people do to guys who beat on their wives and kids? Plus he could never stay out of trouble.

"But it's not just his parole. He shaved a few years off by ratting out a cellmate and then this psych spends a few hours with him and suddenly he's cured of all his anger problems."

"Sounds like we've been sending you to the wrong therapist," Blaine quipped.

"And suddenly he's out this weekend. Monday at the latest. I'm supposed to be starting school on Monday, not looking over my shoulder to see if he's there, if he's found me.

"I love my life. I never thought I was going to have this. I was never the kid who got an Exit, I was just going to finish school and get a job and now I'm a part of this. You know it took Amelia almost a whole hour to leave my room tonight?"

"She loves you."

"I love her. Never gave her five seconds in the home but..."

"She's worried about you. We all are."

"I know," Ben said quietly. "And I want... I wish I could make... say something..."

"It's fine," Blaine said. "Whenever you figure it out, we're here. Whatever it is."

"I think right now a useable bedroom is top of my list," Ben laughed. "Sorry again..."

"Stop with the apologies, OK? The bedding can be replaced, it'll tidy up and before long it will be..."

"Brand new? Forgotten about? Covered up?"

"Better."

"Better how?"

"Because things don't always stay broken. They get fixed, rebuilt, strengthened. Took Kurt a long time to realise I wasn't going to run when I first got back to New York. Took me a while to realise that he was with me because he wanted to be. But we got there, we got over the hurt, and it got better."

"And is it better now? After..."

"It's getting there. It will be. Because when something cracks you don't just plaster over it. You can't. You fix it and you do whatever it takes to make sure you don't crack it again. And with you? Kurt and I have never just plastered over the cracks, we're trying to make them better. We will do whatever it takes to make them better, to fix them.

"And it doesn't matter how many cracks appear we're not going to stop working on them."

"Why?" Ben asked quietly. "I mean... surely it would be easier, for all of you...?"

"Do I really need to go over it all with you again?" Blaine laughed. He reached over and put his arm over Ben's shoulders, pulling him in close. "Highlights. We love you, you're our son, and this is your home for as long as you want it. And even if you don't, it'll still be your home."

Ben fell silent, resting up against Blaine's chest and listening to his steady breathing. They were still like that when Kurt came in, said he'd done the best with the room but it looked like it was the couch for tonight.

After assuring them that he was fine with it Ben pushed them off to bed, grabbed the blankets from the linen closet, and sat back on the couch, head in hands, and tried to work out his next move.

 

*

 

Blaine was aware of a hand on his shoulder, stirring him from sleep.

"'s early," he muttered.

"Blaine," Kurt hissed, "wake up."

"Why?" he said, trying to turn away and bury his face in the pillows.

"Because Ben's gone."

 

*

 

"I got up for a drink and he'd gone," Kurt said as he showed Blaine the empty couch which he'd insisted on seeing.

"How long do you think he's been gone?"

"I don't know," Kurt sighed. "Maybe you were right about getting him chipped." He picked up the phone handset and opened the line.

"What are you doing?"

"Calling for a pizza, what do you think?"

"Kurt, wait."

"Our fourteen year old son has run away and you want me to _wait_ before calling the cops?"

"If we can work out where he's gone..."

"Blaine, I know you want to get out there and find him but there are about forty thousand trained police officers in the city."

"All of who he is going to want to avoid, all of who aren't going to know him like we do. Kurt, please. Can we just take a few moments to figure this out? If we can find him..."

"Blaine, love... We can't."

"I know," Blaine breathed, dropping onto the couch. "I thought... I mean, I know he wanted..." He absent-mindedly fingered the edge of the blanket. "I thought I'd got through to him. I thought we had."

"I know, love," Kurt said. "I know."

"I still want to get out there. I'm not sitting back..."

"You think I am?" Kurt cut across with a soft laugh. "Rachel can come over."

"Shouldn't we take Amelia to her? I don't want her surrounded by cops."

"She can go over in the morning. I'm not waking her up at three in the morning, it'd only upset her. Few hours of ignorance won't hurt."

"Maybe if he's back..." Blaine started to say but stopped himself. Even though he had hope he knew it wasn't realistic. Somehow he knew they wouldn't find Ben hiding away in a school locker room. "I'm going to go... check on her..."

"OK," Kurt sighed, looking down at the phone in his hand.

He knew that two minutes could make a difference in cases like this but he understood Blaine's need to see Amelia, to know that she was safe and asleep in her bed. Keeping the phone in his hand he climbed the stairs after Blaine, just for that reassurance himself.

"Kurt," Blaine hissed when he came into view.

He stood in Amelia's doorway and for a second Kurt's heart relocated to his feet as he imagined a second empty bed. He closed the gap quickly and then sagged against Blaine's body as the breath left his body.

Curled protectively around his sister's body Ben was fast asleep on her bed, the two of them barely under the covers.

"Shit," Kurt almost laughed into Blaine's chest. "I don't think I have _ever_ felt this relieved. Or happy."

"I feel like I should be offended by this but strangely I can't bring myself to care."

"My heart is racing."

"Mine too," Blaine breathed, wrapping his arms around Kurt and feeling his body shake and vibrate with nerves and adrenaline and relief. "I am going to kill that boy when he wakes up in the morning."

"Not if I get there first," Kurt whispered. "Come on, love, back to bed."

"Two minutes?"

"You'll be here all night if I let you."

"How can you know that?"

"Because if I don't go back to bed now then I'm going to be here all night myself," Kurt said, stepping back and offering his hand to Blaine. "Come on, love."

 

*

 

They returned to bed, finding each other under the covers and curling up the way their children were in the room above them.

"I feel like we should have some kind of plan," Kurt said. "Beyond listening to him. I don't want to be the kind of dad who just packs him off to other people for help. That's supposed to be, in part, my job. Our job."

"Plan for what?"

"I don't know. His temper? Someone to talk to? Maybe there's some clubs or stuff he can do, make some friends?"

"He's got friends at school, he's hardly a loner."

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah, I do. And I think I've got an idea."

"But?" Kurt asked, sensing that it was coming.

"But you know your grand plans for the basement...?"

 

*

 

Standing in the doorway, looking at his room, Ben wondered where to start. Most of the clothes had been picked up and put back into drawers or hung up, books piled up to be put away properly later, but there were still papers everywhere, the mattress was propped up and drying out against the wall (there were still shards from the shattered snow globe in places so he would have to be careful).

"It's a mess," came a quiet voice from by his elbow.

"Yeah."

"Want a hand?"

Ben laughed softly. "Thanks, Princess, but I'll be fine."

"I know you will be," Amelia said with a shrug. "I asked if you wanted a hand."

"I don't know where to start. There's so much..."

"Pick somewhere. We'll do it all eventually." She pressed against his hip and only eased off when he draped his arm over her shoulders. "You helped me once. My turn."

"I don't think it works like that," Ben laughed. "I think a lot of this is going to have to go out."

"We can put stuff in my room while you figure out what to do with it." She looked around the room and then patted his stomach with a hand. "After breakfast."

"What?"

"Dad says that breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

"Blaine says a lot," Ben laughed, removing his arm and holding out the hand to her instead. He frowned when she didn't take it. "What?"

"You still call him Blaine."

"...Yeah."

"Why?"

"Because..." Ben started but then couldn't finish it.

"I know they're not our real dads. But they love us and we love them. Right?"

"Of course," Ben assured her, crouching down to her level.

"I know you didn't want to be an Anderson to begin with but now you are and it feels like we should be a real family."

"We are a family, Princess. It doesn't matter what we call each other, they're just titles."

"They're more than that," Amelia said.

"I don't know, it feels... weird. I'm nearly fifteen..."

"So? They're gonna be our dads forever. It won't matter if I'm eleven or twenty one or whatever. They're gonna give me away when I get married, they're going to be our kids' granddads."

"I forget that you're still... young," Ben said, taking both her hands in his.

"Yeah, well. The home does that, doesn't it?" she whispered quietly. "All we wanted while we were there was a home and a family and parents who would love us. And I pictured a mom and dad but I love what we got instead and I love them."

"I know," Ben said, "but Blaine's not dad. He's not..."

"And isn't that a good thing?" she asked. "Our dads, our real dads? If it weren't for them neither of us would be here. And now we have two of them, like it's being made up to us or something."

"Last guy I called Dad destroyed my life," Ben said a little harsher than he'd planned.

"And the last proper home I had wasn't good. I mean, I don't remember much about it but I know I wasn't happy there, I didn't feel safe. I don't think you did either."

"I'm not arguing that things are better here..."

"Then why do you keep fighting us?" Amelia asked. "You and Papa took forever to start getting on, and it took me half an hour to convince you to come up to my room last night. We just want to help you."

"I know, Princess."

"Why do you call me that?" she asked.

"Because you are one," he smiled. "You were always into all that Disney crap in the home, of being rescued by the prince and living happily ever after."

"And it happened, right?"

"You got your happily ever after," Ben smiled. "And I didn't know it then but I do now; you totally deserve this."

"So did you. Same princes who rescued me got you too. Same castle, same life. So if I deserve it then you do too because you and me? We're the same. Same background, same home. Same dads."

"So what? You want me to call them 'Dad' and 'Papa' now?" he asked, his lips curling up in one corner.

"I want you to remember that you're an Anderson too. Papa said he chose Dad's name because he wanted them to be the same. We are the same, Ben. You and me."

"It's not that simple, Princess."

"It could be though," she countered. "I'm starving. Breakfast then we can clear up your room."

She pushed forward and kissed the tip of his nose before turning and walking away, leaving him crouched down in his bedroom. Ben fought back a laugh and rocked back on his heels before pushing to a standing position. Something caught his eye as he turned to leave and he picked his way through the debris of last night to retrieve the card from where it had fallen (been thrown?) behind the desk.

It was one of those insanely cheesy Christmas cards, with two cartoon puppies on the front and an insane amount of snow and holiday cheer. But he'd kept it for the same reason it had been given.

_To the best big brother in the world._

Ben had always been very much a guy's-guy. Feelings were things that other people had, especially girls. He didn't talk about them unless it was his love for a football team or a good ice cream sundae. Recently he'd started to talk about love for his family, and last night he'd voiced it – and meant it – but that was recent.

Right?

There had been a protective feeling towards Amelia that day at the school. When he'd come around the corner and seen them surrounding her, when he had seen how scared she was, the heat in his belly flared in a familiar way, his hands curled to fists but for the first time the red and white anger hadn't blinded him but focused him.

_No one touches her._

Until last night he'd not fully appreciated how much she meant to him, what lengths he would go to for her. Kurt (Papa? Really? New York may be full of them but Ben was in no way Italian) had said that it showed how much he cared about her.

Looking at the half-tidied mess around him Ben realised that this showed something else. That it wasn't just Amelia he would do anything for.

"If you don't come down I'm eating all the pancakes!" Amelia called up the stairs and he laughed, finally leaving his room.

 

*

 

"You realise hiding bodies in the basement is such a movie cliché?" Ben joked as he followed Blaine down the stairs. "Plus you don't have it in you. Kurt, maybe, but you're too soft."

"I like to think I have my moments," Blaine said, pulling the cord to turn on the light. "And maybe I'm not as soft as you think."

"Yeah?" Ben teased but then stopped when he noticed it. "What the fuck is that?"

"A punching bag. And language."

"Since when do we have a punching bag?"

" _I_ have had one since I was a teenager," Blaine replied and then laughed at the look on Ben's face. "You don't know everything about me."

"Clearly," Ben said, his voice still tinged with disbelief. "Why do you have a punching bag?"

"I was... bullied at school. Pretty badly actually. I even got beaten up once."

"Because you were...?"

"Gay? Yeah. And for a long time I was so angry because of it so one day Dad comes home with some gloves and pads and he teaches me a few moves. I took out a lot of my feelings on his hands for a while but when I broke one of his fingers he bought me the bag."

"You broke one of his fingers?" Ben repeated, unable to hide the astonishment in his voice.

"I think he was glad to be able to leave me to it actually," Blaine said, picking up a set of gloves. "He wanted to help but that kind of thing was way out of his comfort zone."

"So that explains why you have it, but why is it up in our basement?"

"Because this is one of those moments when I pass on something to my kid," Blaine replied, holding out the gloves to him. "Get them on, Boxing 101 is about to start."

"Aren't you supposed to strap up your hands or something?"

"I don't have the full kit anymore, but if you like it we can go shopping this afternoon."

"Did it help?" Ben asked as he took the offered gloves. "With how you were feeling I mean?"

"Yeah, it did. Gave me something else to take out my feelings and frustrations on. Got pretty good."

"Yeah, but did you start a fight club?" Ben quipped as he pulled on the first glove.

"Come on now," Blaine joked, "if I did I wouldn't be able to talk about it. And that is a really old joke."

"Yeah, figured I would try and say something you'd understand," Ben shot back. "Can't go around making all these references you don't get."

"Hey, I work with kids. I'm with it."

Ben raised his eyebrows in a way that made Blaine laugh because in that moment he was so like Kurt it was untrue.

"Don't ever say stuff like that again," Ben said, his tone deadly serious. "Otherwise I am going to have to start to pretend I don't know you."

"Noted. Ready?"

"As I'll ever be. Come on then, Fight Club. Show me your moves," Ben teased, holding his gloved hands up.

 

*

 

They started slowly, Blaine adjusting Ben's stance so he was grounded before he threw any punches, made sure he wasn't over extending, explained the merits of not throwing _everything_ into a punch from the start, and guided his hands and arms for the first few jabs. It was a scene that had probably happened a million times before and would a million times again; a father stood behind his son, hands over arms, holding and guiding every movement.

When Ben was ready Blaine moved and held the bag while Ben tapped out a few experimental jabs. As his confidence rose the pace increased, as did the intensity of the throws. Within minutes the punches were wild, missing as much as they hit, but Blaine held on while Ben vented every fear onto the leather, absorbed as much of it as he could before his son was crying with exhaustion. And then Blaine moved to hold him just as firmly.

 

*

 

Blaine rolled his neck and rubbed at a particularly stiff part as he walked into the family room, heading through to the kitchen.

"Feeling it are we?" Kurt asked as he shoved the mug of coffee in Blaine's direction.

"I need a back rub," he sighed, rolling his shoulders before picking up the mug. "I'm out of practice."

"If you ask nicely later I'll see what I can do about the back rub," Kurt purred suggestively.

"Don't know if I can wait," Blaine sighed, "and I really just want a back rub."

"Oh baby," Kurt mocked, moving behind Blaine and swatting away his hands. "How's this?" he asked as his fingers got to work on the tendons.

The moan that left Blaine's mouth in response was highly suggestive and made them both laugh.

"Settle down," Kurt laughed, kissing the side of his neck. "You know our rating limit."

"I can't help it," Blaine breathed, "you are far too good at this."

"Yeah, well, that's why you married me," Kurt laughed.

"Twice," Blaine added with his own laugh.

"How'd it go?"

"Pretty good. Told him about the clubs he could join and he said he'd think about it. I don't think he's going to be the next middleweight champion but he should do OK. And it'll help him work through some stuff."

"Good idea then?"

"I have them on occasion," Blaine squeaked with mock indignation.

"On occasion. I think this one covers you for the next... five years?"

Blaine reached behind him, trying to grab hold of Kurt but he easily dodged his grasp, leaving Blaine no choice but to turn around. After a few missed attempts his hands latched onto Kurt's side, practiced fingers finding the ticklish spots.

"I can't leave you two alone for five minutes," Ben interrupted, walking past them to the fridge, opening it to grab a bottle of water.

"We're still PG-13," Kurt pointed out, his arms slipping around Blaine's waist in dual purpose; keeping him close and preventing him from a second attack.

"Oh god," Ben muttered as he turned to leave. "My parents are insane. If I make it through the next four years without losing my mind then there's a chance I'll go off to college a somewhat normal person."

"No chance," Blaine laughed.

"Well, with dads like you two the odds are not exactly in my favour," Ben said. "Thanks though. For today."

"Any time," Blaine said.

"He says that now, when he wakes up tomorrow stiff and sore..." Kurt laughed.

"Well you're hardly a young man anymore, Dad. You should take it easy."

"Yeah, well..." Blaine began but then words stilled on his tongue as he watched Ben walk out as if nothing out of the ordinary had just happened. "Did he just...?" he whispered when they were alone.

"Yeah, he did," Kurt whispered back, nuzzling at Blaine's jaw where it reached his ear. When Blaine turned his head to look at him Kurt could see his hazel eyes were shining with tears. "I think we're gonna be OK, dad."

Blaine smiled widely before leaning in for the kiss, their laughter being swallowed by the other.

 

*

 

**Epilogue**

Four years later Ben stood alone in the family room, taking a last look.

"You're not leaving for good you know," a voice interrupted his thoughts, making him jump slightly. "And Maryland isn't that far away."

"Far enough though," Ben said, turning to face Blaine.

"Far enough for you to be independent but close enough that you can come home when you want."

Ben gave a soft snort. "I know the college fund is pretty well stocked but I don't think it will stretch to frequent flights home."

"You can come home whenever you want, OK?"

"I know, Dad."

"I'm really proud of you, you know that?"

"Really? I wouldn't know given you keep telling me _every single day_ ," he laughed. "I get it. Proud of me. Proud that I'm giving back. That you think I'm going to make a great social worker, even if Great-Grandpa Anderson had me down as being some lawyer?"

"You know what he said to me when I told him you were doing Social Work?" Blaine said. "He said that the system needed guys like you to look out for the kids who are just like you."

"Even if I am the cliché. Apparently a high number of kids who were in care themselves have careers in social services."

"You'll be great at it, cliché or not."

"Hope so."

"I know so," Blaine smiled.

"I guess I'm just... worried."

"About what?"

"Being away from home. Away from you guys. What if I...? If things go wrong?"

"Like I said, you can come home any time."

"Easier said," Ben sighed.

"So let's make it a bit easier," Blaine said, moving to the side unit and pulling an envelope from a drawer. "We got this for you. For that kind of situation."

Ben took the envelope and opened it, staring at the credit card inside. "What?"

"For whatever. If you need to speak to someone, if you need to come home, you can do it. We won't ask questions, not unless charges to liquor stores start turning up on the statement."

"This is too much," Ben said, holding the envelope out but Blaine refused to take it. "Dad..."

"Yeah, exactly. Dad. This is the kind of thing we do for our kids, we make sure they're safe. Even if they're not at home all the time."

"Thank you," Ben said quietly, slipping the envelope into his back pocket. "I guess we should..."

"Yeah. Don't want to miss your flight."

"Going to be weird. Not being here."

"It's still home," Blaine said, putting an arm around Ben's shoulders – something which wasn't as easy as it once was. "And it's always going to be here."

"Even if my room isn't?" Ben quipped. "Amelia's got plans to turn it into her closet."

"Now come on, you know that's not going to happen," Blaine said with a grin. "Your dad's got plans for a design studio."

"You're going to make me sleep in the basement at Thanksgiving aren't you?"

"Of course not," Blaine laughed. "That's going to be my office. You might get the couch..."

"That's it, I'm taking your card and running," Ben laughed before swinging around and hugging Blaine properly. "Thank you. For everything."

"Come on, kid," Blaine said softly as he returned the hug. "They're waiting and you know what Amelia's like if we're not on schedule."

 

*

 

Six years later Ben was back in the same family room, fussing with the cuffs on his shirt sleeve. "I can't do this," he declared, "I can't. I'm going to fuck it up, I know I am, so I should just..."

"Take a deep breath," Kurt interrupted. "You are going to take a deep breath and you are going to be fine and you are not going to fuck it up. No more than the rest of us do."

"What the hell do I know about how to be a husband? I only just managed the whole 'boyfriend' thing."

"You know about as much as we did," Blaine added. "But, like us, you'll figure it out."

"If we're half as happy as you guys are then I'll be, well, happy."

"Don't do that," Kurt said. "Don't compare yourself to anyone, OK? You and Rosie are your own people, your relationship is yours and it's unique to you."

"What if she doesn't show?" Ben asked, panic flashing in his eyes.

"She'll be there," Blaine laughed, putting a reassuring hand on Ben's shoulder. "Besides, Amelia will drag her there if she has to. She's been too excited about being a bridesmaid."

"Were you this nervous?"

"First or second time?" Kurt asked.

"Well, you were both drunk the first," Ben said. "Can we try that?"

"And have you fall over during the vows? That will go down well," Kurt laughed. "But one for Dutch courage won't hurt." He nodded to Blaine who headed into the kitchen to grab the bottle and glasses. "And the second time? Yeah, I was still nervous. Even though I knew how much he loved me, even though I knew we both wanted it and that he wouldn't do that to me, I was still nervous."

"And at what point did you stop feeling like you were going to be sick?" Ben asked.

"Lie to him," Blaine called quickly from the kitchen.

"Pretty quickly," Kurt said with a grin. "But trust me, it's natural."

"And it's worth it," Blaine added when he returned with three glasses containing large measures of whiskey. "Even the bad parts are worth it."

"Think I gave you plenty of those," Ben said as he accepted his glass.

"Still worth it," Kurt said. "And we don't regret a single moment."

"Thank you." Ben's voice was low but full of emotion and it made his dads stop for a moment. "Because of you I got a home and a family and I got to go to college and I have a job I love and a woman I adore and... if you hadn't taken a chance on me then none of this would have happened."

"I wouldn't call it taking a chance," Blaine said, his gaze moving from his son to his husband. "Because sometimes, even though you don't realise it, you know."

"To Vegas," Kurt toasted.

"To diner burgers," Ben added.

"To boxing gloves," Blaine finished.

The three glasses chinked together and they took large mouthfuls before the bell rang, letting them know their car had arrived.

 

*

 

The first thing Blaine was aware of when consciousness crept over him was just how much his head _hurt_. His skull felt heavy, like it was trying to sink into the pillows and he was happy to let it because it would distract him from the churning in his stomach.

Now that he was awake his body was intent on telling him _exactly_ what was wrong with him; carpet tongue, steel skull with Jamaican Kettle Band in residence, stomach stuck on a rollercoaster.

Hello hangover.

"Morning."

"Morning," he replied.

"Water's on the side."

Blaine reached out, groping around on the table until he found the glass. He sat up enough so that he could drink without spilling it everywhere.

"How much do you remember?" Kurt asked.

"Well, I think there was a wedding," he joked.

"Very much so. You made a speech."

"Did I embarrass him?"

"Of course you did," Kurt laughed.

"Good. My work here is done, I can die in peace," Blaine muttered as he rolled over and curled up against Kurt's body.

Kurt's laugh shook his whole body which made Blaine feel a little worse but he wasn't moving for anything. He knew that after a little more sleep and a shower and some breakfast he'd feel better.

As he felt Kurt's arms close around him he breathed in deeply and allowed his body to settle into sleep again. The band packed up after their set and let his memory sift through the memories of yesterday; of absolute pride and love, of knowing that they had done right by their son.

 

*

 

_"And to my dads, the best men I have ever known... All I can say is thank you but it doesn't come close to expressing how I feel about you. I grew up in a house with unconditional love and support, with people who helped me to last the distance, work through the hard times together. You guys were there for me when I needed you the most and you let me be my own person._

_"It would have been so easy for any of us to walk away but you didn't and you didn't let me. For every curve ball life threw at us we tried the swing, whether we got a hit or not. You listened, we talked and we worked it out._

_"And I am who I am today because of that. I want to be the same husband to Rosie that you two are to each other. I want to be the father to our kids that you were to me._

_"We were never the traditional family when I was growing up and so my darling wife will have to forgive me while I break tradition once more. Ladies and gentlemen, will you please raise your glasses in toasting the two people who really did make today possible in every way._

_"My parents, Kurt and Blaine."_


End file.
